ChefBlog

Book Review: Sara Foster's Southern Kitchen

2011-05-10T11:43:00.000-07:00

I think it's safe to say that most Italian girls who grew up in Chicago aren't known for their fried chicken, cornbread or slow-cooked greens. Even in culinary school, we only spent a few weeks of our American Regional Cuisine class on "The South", but since moving to Tennessee I've immersed myself in local foods and learning how to prepare them correctly. My cornbread recipe used to come from the side of the cardboard canister the cornmeal came in, and was baked in a 8x8 pyrex baking dish. I've since found an all-corn recipe that asks for bacon grease, not butter, and tweaked it a little. I grind local popcorn into a fine cornmeal with my NutriMill. I add buttermilk instead of water, and I don't include sugar. It's baked in a pre-heated cast-iron pan, for exactly 17 minutes, and comes out perfectly every time. This is not the light & fluffy cake-like cornbread at Cracker Barrel, but one of the contractors who worked on our house grew up around here, and he said my cornbread was as good as his mom's. That's good enough for me!

Sara Foster's Southern Kitchen
I recently received Sara Foster's Southern Kitchen cookbook. Her cornbread recipe includes both all-purpose flour and sugar. I've yet to make Foster's version, since I'm still recovering from Sunday's carb-loaded Chicken-and-Waffles extravaganza (I made cornbread to sop up the pot likker from the collard greens - YUM!)

As someone who cooks professionally, I really treat cookbooks like textbooks. The first thing i do is skip through to the back. The introductions are often hackneyed and full of trite old saws like "everything but the squeal" (yeah, really). The recipes themselves will prove themselves out eventually, as you try them. What you find when you turn to the last few pages of a cookbook are the things your author deems necessary for reference as you work. This information tells you a lot about the attitude and spirit of a cookbook.

Foster includes a section called "Must-Haves", which mentions covered casserole dishes, a cake stand and a deviled-egg plate. She writes "It may not seem like it today, but for Southern ladies of my mother's generation, for whom entertaining was paramount, serving dishes like this really do qualify as essential kitchen equipment. I agree that presentation is important, and I do confess to owning two deviled-egg serving dishes of my own (I cater, so I own at least two of everything, no matter what!) so I guess that if you are trying to emulate a proper Southern food experience, get yourself to a church rummage sale and get your hands on a deviled-egg dish.

"Pantry Essentials" lists two dozen ingredients that can southernize any meal, and nine of them derive from pork. I wonder, though -- don't most food-obsessed people keep a jar for bacon grease to use in other recipes? I wouldn't have thought of of that as a 'Southern thing'!

Another surprise was she didn't include smoked hog jowl, which I include in beans, greens and whatever else needs a meaty unctuous layer of flavor. If you go nuts over Italian guanicale, consider smoked jowl its country cousin: a touch less refined but still very pleasant company to keep.

Among the non-porcine essentials are Sorghum, Pecans, and the ubiquitous Pepper Vinegar which is, in fact, so ubiquitous that Foster also uses "ubiquitous" in its description. There are several recipes included in the book for most of the condiments she lists, so you can try your hand at making your own chow-chow and pimiento cheese.

If you're not a cooking-type foodie, but the gourmand-type foodie that reads a cookbook as prose instead of an instruction manual you might be interested in the section called "Sources". As you're reading this online, you've certainly conquered the world-wide-web, so even if you're on dialup, you can easily find local vendors that can sell you boudin, sorghum and grits. If you are lazy or woefully inept at research, Foster provides a list of companies willing to package & ship their delicacies to your home, should you find yourself in the unlucky predicament that your home isn't here in the South.

Now on to the recipes. As I mentioned above, many of them seem sound at first glance. The photos are positively lickable, and since I'm typing this at half past noon and I've not yet had lunch, it's a bit of a struggle to keep from doing exactly that.

Here's what's on my must-make list:

Sweet Potato Refrigerator Rolls Homemade breads are always yummy, and this has an interesting twist.
Summer Squash Casserole I can eat egg and cheese in any combination, any time.
Pork Rillettes This looks like a delight, and I haven't made Rillettes in a long time
Creamy Grits with Roasted Butternut Squash and Blue Cheese I've got a lone squash remaining from the Nashville farmer's market and some gorgonzola, so this should come together quickly.

I would have been thrilled to try the recipe Foster includes for guinea hen, had any of the 21 keets I tried to raise stuck around long enough to harvest, but they flew off and became wild. I guess I'll have to be content with a store-bought guinea for my plate, and cherish the times when my prodigal keets wander back to visit the pond for a drink.

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Technorati Tags: Chef JoAnna is a classically trained chef and Food Blogger who's starting Mockingbird Acres a Bed & Bistro in Prospect, TN (In Giles County)

Collard Greens & Pork Soup

2010-12-30T18:02:00.000-08:00

INGREDIENTS...
DIRECTION...

2 ounces salt pork or pork jowl, cut into 1/4" x 1/4" x 1" strips
     Place a 6 qt stock pot or Dutch oven over medium heat.
     Fry the salt pork for a few minutes to release fat & liquid.
     The pork bits are called "lardons". Remove & reserve.
3 pork chops (bone in preferred!)
     sear chops on both sides. allow to cool. Remove bones & reserve bones & meat.
1 large onion, large dice (3/4 inch)
2 ribs celery, diced
2 large carrots, diced
     add, saute until onion is translucent
2 cloves garlic
     add, stir in well, don't let it get too dark
2 large bunches of collard greens, well-washed, shredded* (or 2 bags chopped, pre-washed)
     stir in chopped greens, until wilted
3-4 quarts fresh water
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon fresh thyme (or 1/2 teaspoon dried)
     add just enough water to cover the contents of the pot.
     Add half of the lardons.
     Also add the bones from the pork chops, if there were any.
     Bring to a boil, reduce heat to medium-low, and simmer for at least 30 minutes. The amount of time will vary with how young & tender the greens were to start with.
     Test for doneness of greens - they should be very tender!
1 (15 ounce) can navy beans, drained, rinsed **
     Remove bones from the soup
     Dice the reserved pork chops, and add to the soup.
     Stir in beans, and heat through, approx 5 more minutes.

Ladle the soup into bowls, sprinkle a few crispy lardons on top, and a drizzle of 3-2-1 sauce. Serve with crusty bread or fresh cornbread.

3-2-1 sauce
----------
1 tablespoon of prepared red chili. I like the Lee Kum Kee stuff that comes in 4 oz jars.
2 tablespoon brown sugar
3 tablespoon cider vinegar
mix together & serve with soup.

JoAnna Minneci, http://ChefJoAnna.com/

* lay out leaves flat, use a knife to cut out ribs, then arrange into layers. Roll up into a huge cigar shape, and cut cigar lengthwise down the middle. Stack the two sides and slice into 1/2" strips.

** of course you can soak and simmer your own dried beans, but I'd be so proud of you if you made soup in the first place I can forgive you for opening a can of prepared beans. <3Technorati Tags: Chef JoAnna is a classically trained chef and Food Blogger who's starting Mockingbird Acres a Bed & Bistro in Prospect, TN (In Giles County)

where ya been?

2010-06-21T14:34:00.000-07:00

I don't do stuff like foursquare or brightkite , but if i did, you'd have seen me checking in from some interesting places of the past three weeks!

Kelly's work took him to Salzburg, Austria... but we opted to make a vacation out of it, since his airfare would be paid for. We went to Frankfurt, Germany for two days, took a train through Munich to Salzburg, Austria spent a week there, and then took another train through Innsbruck, and went to Verona, Italy for another week. Finally, we took a quick train to Milan for a day, before flying out from Malpensa, IT.

Kelly and I drove to Atlanta to fly out of the airport there, so we could get a direct flight. Four hours in the car wins easily over several hours trapped in an airport trying to make a connecting flight! The bonus, of course, is that Atlanta is also the home of the closest IKEA I got to get some more stuff for my kitchen there.

My camera suffered from the curse of the Duomo in milan (the one snapshot of the famous church was the last my camera ever recorded!) and although it was a great camera, I imagine it will be more expensive to repair it than replace it. The photos are safe, tho, on removable media.

Now that we're home, though, I'm eager to settle in and start doing cooking lessons and working on the restaurant. As soon as i get a camera that works again, I'll upload the whole journal and the corresponding photo & video. We ate well, and looking at photos & reading my descriptions will be a good way to experience that again, without the calories!

Technorati Tags: Chef JoAnna is a classically trained chef and Food Blogger who's starting Mockingbird Acres a Bed & Bistro in Prospect, TN (In Giles County)

Mockingbird Acres: New photos! Virtual open house!

2010-05-04T16:17:00.000-07:00

Hi, everyone!

Despite the rain and tornado watches, the open house did actually take place on May 1st.

(by the way, we’re far enough south from Nashville that we’re not suffering any effects of flooding at all, not to mention we’re at quite an elevation up here.)

I’ve finally taken photos of the dining room, including the newest addition, “Cabinetzilla Jr.” Consider this a virtual open house... Please take a peek and let me know what you think!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mockingbirdacres/

JoAnna

---------------------------------

If you’d like invite others to receive these updates, let them know they can be on our mailing list by sending a message to subscribe@mockingbirdacres.com Alternatively, if you want to stop receiving these messages, just send an e-mail to UNsubscribe@mockingbirdacres.com

Photos of the ice storm, as seen from Prospect, TN

2010-01-31T13:20:00.000-08:00

Hi, everyone!

We’ve survived the weather here, luckily not having to endure any power outages or lack of telephone service.

Today the sun is shining brightly, and the sparkling ice lining every single pine needle, twig and branch is catching the light and making a gorgeous display.

Kelly just blogged about it, including some photos of the ice storm, as seen from our house.

(http://MockingbirdAcres.blogspot.com)

JoAnna

[[ Mockingbird Acres ]] It's too early to get eggs!

2010-01-24T12:34:00.000-08:00

Kelly’s written a new blog entry, so here’s a reminder to check out the blog.

By the way, I’m not sure if I’d posted an announcement to this in a while, so you might scroll back and read a few earlier entries.

http://MockingbirdAcres.blogspot.com

Hope you’re all well!

JoAnna

P. S. If you’d like invite others to receive these updates, let them know they can be on our mailing list by sending a message to subscribe@mockingbirdacres.com

Alternatively, if you want to stop receiving these messages, just send an e-mail to UNsubscribe@mockingbirdacres.com

[Mockingbird Acres] and then there were seven...

2009-11-26T10:53:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving!

Kelly’s added a story to our blog: http://MockingbirdAcres.blogspot.com (As always, comments are welcomed & appreciated!)

We had our neighbors and their daughter over for dinner the other night, so the dining room got closer to ‘done’ than it’s ever been. I will post some photos to flickr, and update them on blog over the weekend, so keep a lookout for another post like this one.

We’re going to have our official grand opening in just a few months, so keep 4/24/10 open (it’s the last Saturday in April).

Here’s where you can find Mockingbird Acres online:

TWITTER: http://twitter.com/mockingbirdtn
FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Prospect/Mockingbird-Acres/165180113434
GOOGLE GROUPS: http://groups.google.com/group/mockingbirdacres

Friend us! Follow us! Web 2.0 your little heart out!

Hugs and good wishes to everyone!

JoAnna

[Mockingbird Acres] Floors and doors and cabinets, oh my!

2009-11-21T18:23:00.001-08:00

The blog has been updated!
http://is.gd/50wDk

And very exciting – a VIDEO!
http://mockingbirdacres.blogspot.com/2009/11/woo-hoo.html

New post at Mockingbird Acres Blog

2009-11-07T20:08:00.000-08:00

Floors! (YAY!)
        Ladybugs! (boo!)
                Gravel! (YAY!)
                        Siding! (YAY!)
                                Ice Cream! (YAY!)

4 out of 5 YAYs isn't too shabby...

http://twurl.nl/hvppij

FW: [Mockingbird Acres] Falling Into Autumn

2009-10-23T17:24:00.000-07:00

Kelly blogs about our new floor plan, insulation installation and a rescued turtle, using more puns than you can shake a stick at.

http://MockingbirdAcres.blogspot.com

(Added Friday, October 23, 2009 7:23 PM)

Mockingbird Acres: Red Rooster was our dinner last night.

2009-10-22T13:45:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Kelly and I butchered and ate one of our chickens.

Read the whole story at http://MockingbirdAcres.blogspot.com

As always, comments are welcomed & appreciated!

JoAnna

New posts on the Mockingbird Acres Blog

2009-10-15T12:21:00.000-07:00

Hello friends and family!

A few new posts have been added to the Mockingbird Acres blog.

Please have a look, and add your comments!
http://MockingbirdAcres.blogspot.com

You might have noticed I haven’t been sending a notice to this mailing list every time we post something... But I will if enough of you want me to.

You can reply to this message to let me know which you’d rather have happen:

Send a notice every time a new post goes on the website
Send a notice only every so often, every week or two

,,,and if it doesn’t matter, then you don’t have to reply at all. :-)

Sending warm hugs from chilly, damp Prospect, TN!

JoAnna

New posts on Mockingbird Acres Blog

2009-09-26T22:52:00.000-07:00

Hi, everyone! Lots going on down at the homestead!

    Washer & Dryer! Not only are we no longer showering in the backyard, we can do our laundry at home (though I’ll still hang stuff out to dry if it would stop raining for more than 5 hours at a time)

    Egg Collecting! We’re getting at least 3 eggs a day, and a few times as many as five, so we’re pretty sure that all the hens are finally earning their keep. Even the white leghorns are laying! Their eggs are white, but the other chickens lay brown or pink eggs. The roosters are earning their keep too, even if all they do is make me laugh each time they crow. The black & white one calls out clear as a bell, and sounds like any rooster you’d ever hear, but the red one sounds like he’s got a frog in his throat, struggling to crow properly. it’s just comical. They both seem to know when I’m on the phone!?

    Tonight we attended the locals’ Social Gala of the Year – the Stella Fish Fry. Even hours later, as I write this, I’m so full up on catfish & hushpuppies it kind of hurts. Kelly and I shared two different kinds of home-made pie!

    Also today was Opening Day of Bowhunting Season!   Kelly tells all about it in the blog. (http://MockingbirdAcres.blogspot.com)

We also added a few other blog posts lately, uploaded a bunch of photos from JoAnna's cellphone to flickr, and ordered a replacement camera cable so I can get some older photos out of the “real” camera. The original one is either still packed away in a box somewhere or it’s vanished. Rather than let the fancy expensive camera languish unused, I forked up the $15 for a new cable.

Finally, we really enjoy getting your comments by e-mail, but we’d love to have you share in the conversation, and post comments directly on the blog. There’s a link after each post, just click on it and you’re able to post a few words or a few paragraphs. Also, I understand it helps in the rankings for Google. Also, I’d love it if you’d send this e-mail along to friends if you think they would be interested.

We’re shipping the dogs off to a sitter this weekend so we can celebrate our 15 year wedding anniversary with a trip to New Orleans. We didn’t know what to do with the chickens, but since they’re out roaming around unattended all day when we’re here, we figured they’ll be okay roaming around when we’re not here. We anticipate coming home to a big pile of eggs, which my dear friend Kris assures me will all be safe and edible. Omelets for everyone!!

Hugs from Prospect, TN!

JoAnna

P. S.    If you are active in the social media scene, and you’d like to keep up with us elsewhere:

Facebook:
    JoAnna http://facebook.com/chefjoanna
    Kelly   http://www.facebook.com/kelly.mohan
Twitter:
    JoAnna http://twitter.com/chefjoanna
    Kelly   http://twitter.com/kellymohan
Flickr:
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/mockingbirdacres/
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/chefjoanna/ (NEWEST PHOTOS HERE!)

EGG-citing news at Mockingbird Acres! (new blog post)

2009-09-10T16:27:00.001-07:00

Finally added a new post at the Mockingbird Acres blog:

http://mockingbirdacres.blogspot.com/2009/09/egg-citing-news.html

Please read, forward to your friends, add a comment, and let me know you’re out there!

XOXO

JoAnna

I've been using Mahalo... check it out!

2009-08-30T23:49:00.000-07:00

Mahalo Answers!

View my latest answers...

[Mockingbird Acres] 8/29/2009 11:32:00 AM

2009-08-29T09:41:00.000-07:00

The publishing of the following entry was delayed by a week in order for it to be cleared by our legal team... actually, I was distracted and forgot to dial-up and "git-'er-done".

Nothing major to report at this time. We have had full power now for 2 weeks, so the air conditioning has been keeping us cool. We still have 9 1/2 chickens, but the guinea keets have all disappeared. We'll never know if they went off to find more pleasant surroundings or if the hawks and owls were well fed this year. Next year we will be better prepared if we try for guinea fowl again.

My parents returned for another 4-day work blitz, and they helped us get a bunch of things done. They painted the utility room a nice green color, and they also primer-coated the master bathroom. JoAnna painted two of the walls of the great room a deep blue color. My dad and I installed the sink in the guest bathroom and we all worked together to hang the french doors which separate the kitchen from the great room.

The biggest job was the installation of the flooring in the kitchen, pantry and utility room. Using my trailer, I picked up the 12-foot-wide roll of Armstrong fiberglass flooring from The Home Depot. It probably weighed 200 lbs. so it was not easy to manage at first. There was also some confusion about how many feet were on the roll. I thought we had ordered 50 feet but the paperwork said 66.67 units. I should have thought to calculate what 50-feet of a 12-foot roll is in square yards (it's 66.67). We ended up a little short in the utility room, but it looks OK. The material was easy to work with and we like it so far.

I have been working on getting the kitchen sink installed, but it's taking longer than I had hoped. Everything seems to be that way, taking twice as long as it should. I guess that's the way it goes since I'm not an expert at these things. The plumbing jobs are especially tricky with all the various parts and fittings and such. I'd swear the plumbers of the world all got together and made their trade as confusing as possible, just to dissuade DIYers from doing plumbing. Why can't it all be flexible pipes and hose clamps?

I finished painting the ceiling of the great room and bedroom and master bath. The vaulted ceiling made it tricky, but the extension pole on the roller made it possible to reach to the peak without the use of a ladder or the scaffolding. Now, the only painting left to do is the tan/beige of the great room, which I am hoping to get to tomorrow. I want to get the scaffolding out of the way and back to the generous man (Roger Daly) who is letting us borrow it.

The garden has been on auto-pilot for a while now. We have been getting good soaking rains often enough that we don't need to water at all. The tomato plants are producing well (and delicious), but a few of the varieties are splitting their skins. I'll have to figure out why. The okra, cucumbers and squash are all doing very well. The bean and pea plants never really got going, and the corn isn't looking like there will be much in the way of ears. It looks nice, though.

I guess there was a lot to report after all. I'm sure I am forgetting something.

--
Posted By Kelly to Mockingbird Acres at 8/29/2009 11:32:00 AM

[Mockingbird Acres] On Track

2009-07-17T07:06:00.000-07:00

The drywall (aka sheetrock, aka rock board, aka gypsum board) crew just left for the day. They expect to be finished with the job on Saturday. They have been so great, especially considering the fact that they have to move our stuff around whenever it gets in the way of where they need to work. They have been careful and really hard-working. I highly recommend this crew to anyone who needs drywall work done in south-middle Tennessee. They even brought us some vegetables from their garden this morning.

I am sitting in the house amidst the drone from two air circulators. An unusual weather system pushed in last night bringing rain and cool, moist air which does not help the drywall mud to dry quickly. I also have the portable propane heater running on high to help the drying process. We are staying in a local budget motel for the next week to avoid the noise, dust and - soon - paint fumes. I'll be turning the heater off before I leave.

BTW: If you ever think you can drywall your own home by yourself (and you are not a professional) you are crazy. JoAnna and I were crazy for 2 minutes a few weeks ago, until she perused a How-To book at the Home Depot. Believe me, it is best left to the pros.

The house is really starting to feel like a home now that we can no longer walk thru walls. The walk-thru closet that connects the bedroom to the utility room is jam-packed with our meager belongings, so we can't walk thru it at this time. I hung the drywall in the closet ahead of the real drywall crew so we would have a dust-free place to store stuff while work was in progress We have our tub set in place and hot water run to it via a potable water hose made for RV use. A fancy hose nozzle with multiple spray patterns and a lock-on feature makes it easy. A nice feature on our tankless water heater is that it allows us to set the temperature of the hot water, so we get a perfectly heated stream of water without having to mix the hot and cold together. I like 104º F.

JoAnna collected a nice bundle of veggies from our garden yesterday morning. It won't be long before we're overrun with squash. I have been encouraging the guinea keets to roam about the garden, hoping they will eat any pest bugs they find, but they rarely venture away from the fence line. The other night I found them all (3) outside the fence boundaries, down near the pond. I got behind them and herded them back toward the garden gate, and decided I wouldn't do that again. They're supposed to roam the property and eat the ticks, which is why we got them. But they are so timid, I doubt they will ever be of much use for that. I guess I'd be extra cautious too if I witnessed 18 of my crew disappear in a few short weeks.

The other flock of birds is doing well, except for one of the leghorn chickens. This one chicken - which I call Halle Birdie, JoAnna calls her Halle Barely - decided to fly up and perch on my half-lowered car window to get a better look at the giant furry beast inside, aka Render. Well, Render acted in self-defense and got a bite on Halle. She let her go after the brief altercation, and Halle limped away and under the house. She perched there for a while, and then made her way back to the chicken tractor (coop). She was limping at the time, so I thought she might be okay after a day or two. This took place about two weeks ago, and Halle is not quite better yet. She hasn't left the tractor without my help, but she has a good appetite and is showing signs of using her legs again to move around. She manages to scoot around the coop using her wings and beak, so she can get to the water and food. I probably should have killed her (it) after 3 days of idle behavior, but I am new at this and I have hope that she will recover.

Yesterday, the big rooster sneaked up behind Render as we headed out of the house for a potty break. We were just a few steps away from the house, and before I knew what happened, Render had the big bird in her jaws. I don't know if the rooster was being bold or just stupid. Anyway, the scuffle lasted 5 seconds, and the rooster was freed. Immediately after the incident, Render briefly growled at me like a psycho dog. I sometimes call her "Cujo" as a pet name, but I didn't think she had it in her. I calmed her down and led her out to the potty area and everything was okay. Even the dumb rooster is fine, if not a little more skittish when I'm around.

We got our land-line phone installed today. The ATT guy lives just down the way in Prospect proper. He was kind enough to wire the RJ-11 jack in the house since he had the tools and parts. Now we can enter the 90s and start connecting to the world using dial-up. 25kbps, here we come! Anyone remember Prodigy™?

There's a giant sink and a nice electric range currently in the side yard, waiting to join us in the house. I can't wait for JoAnna's la-bor-atory to be in working order. Even though she has been producing some really great meals and snacks under these rough conditions, I miss the glory that is her food. I think she is eager to start cooking at home again. She has been so patient, and patience isn't usually her thing. At least she can see the progress. This kitchen is so big, we're planning to install a monorail.

Progress Summary:

indoor hot water at sink - √
indoor hot water at tub/shower - √
reliable communication to the outside world - √
walls - √
food provisions grown organically in native soil - √

We are on track.

--
Posted By Kelly to Mockingbird Acres at 7/17/2009 08:53:00 AM

[Mockingbird Acres] Y'all doin' allright? How's 'at house comin' along?

2009-07-11T14:24:00.000-07:00

Even tho it's july things 'round here are moving slow as molasses in january. Frankly it's hard to muster up the fortitude to type out the mundane details of things that come to pass on a daily basis, because to me, it feels like i'd be writing about the things that HAVEN'T happened. It's probably not too interesting for you to read, "well, still no walls" again and again ...and again. But enough little things do eventually accumulate and i submit them here for your reading pleasure.

Kelly's fine, I'm fine, both Render and Noodles are fine, the three remaining keets are fine -- although getting uglier by the minute -- and 9 out of 10 chickens are fine. (well, we technically still have 10 but only 9 are fine... Kelly owes you a story, and it's his story, so I'm not going to tell it. Please call him and remind him if you are in the mood.)

The house is inching along towards progress. Today, FINALLY, we had some professional drywallers actually show up and hang some drywall. Dwaine and Randy, twenty-something brothers who are just over a year apart in age, did half the bedroom ceiling and the guest bathroom. They're not twins, and don't even look alike, but they finish each others' sentences and will talk as long as you'll let them. they're fun, but I finally had to go outside, and put armour-all on my car just to be out of earshot. They're hard workers... when they're working, but get them on a topic, and next thing you know another half hour is gone -- but in that time they've offered to share their family's garden surplus, bring over some of last fall's venison, or let you have some of the bounty from a weekend of fishing. Dwayne loves to cook, so i told him if he brought anything, we could cook it together ....as soon as my kitchen's useful!

The past two weeks worth of delays feels like forever, and my patience is running really really thin. (have i said that before? yes? well, it's even thinner.) To avoid losing it completely, I've been driving into town and pulling my digital vagabond stunt for hours at a time: the free wifi at the library, in the parking lot of the Country Kitchen restaurant, in the funeral home parking lot, and -my new favorite - at the Subway Sandwich Shop . I used to go inside Country Kitchen and just order a sweet tea, but I always felt like i was taking up a booth as well as the servers' time. At Subway $1.60 gets you a fountain drink with unlimited refills, and no waitress expects a tip. Plus, they're very slow, so if anything, i'm helping the place not look deserted.

You might surmise that we haven't gotten Internet access at the house yet (you clever fox!) but even more depressing than that, we still don't have landline telephone service. I finally called AT&T and asked what's up, and four operators later, I discovered that they had the wrong phone number to try to reach me. wow. Anyway, I finally got things straightened out and then, as we came home from an errand the very next day, we found a huge truck with a HUGE drill was on our driveway, Two shirtless (eww) guys were operating this beast of a machine to bring us phone service! Alas, they didn't actually do the deed, so I still have impotent blue wires dangling from my office wall.

On a more positive note, I found a used 3-compartment professional sink, and got it pretty cheap. It's a gorgeous solid hunk of stainless steel that stretches over 8 feet long, with a built-in backsplash and gorgeous deep basins. It was pretty grimy when i bought it, but i cleaned it up really well and as soon as the plumbers return, they'll run the pipes to install it. Then, they get to figure out how to install my rigged up invention. I bought a 4" deep hard-plastic prep-table insert pan, in which I'm going to melt a hole (with my Crème Brûlée torch that has peformed many important tasks, but hasn't seen a real Crème Brûlée in a long, long time) so that i can attach a standard sink drain, so that it can mate with the plumbing under the house, in order to achieve the Dept of Health's required air-gap. I also want them to install a faucet similar to the one they installed for the washing machine, so that i can attach a potable-water hose, so i can attach an adjustable garden sprayer. I can't believe i get to trick out my kitchen this much... it will be my own custom designed food laboratory, with all the bells and whistles I want, as soon as i can afford them, (AHEM induction cooker) It's going to be so awesome!

I have been working more and more, with a weekly gig, and a couple more private cooking lessons booked. I have to say, with the economy in its current state, combined with the fact that i've lived here for less than a year, and the realization that so few people seem to know that they can hire someone to do what i do, I'm happily surprised with the amount of work I've been getting. Whenever I go to the Whole Foods in Cool Springs, I try to get a good parking space that will show off my car. I've even been approached a few times - right there in the parking lot - by women asking me "Are YOU Chef JoAnna?" We go inside the blissfully air-conditioned store and I give them a card, and we chat for a bit. Most of them want to hire me for the "in-home-fine-dining" thing, but they don't have anything planned at the moment, so i offer to send them a brochure, and get their e-mail address. I guess it's time to start up that monthly newsletter again.

I finally opened a local banking account for Chef JoAnna, Inc., which took about an hour, because the very nice young lady who was helping me is a foodie and we got to talking, and well, you know the rest. She was really excited to hear that someone's trying to open a place like we're planning, and was very eager to tell people about my chef business. I told her about the concept of food miles, and the garden, and how we can serve our hens' eggs but not any meat we raised, and why it was important to eat locally... she was totally into it.

Not much to add to the wildlife report. There is a mama and baby deer we see on the property all the time. They get up pretty close to the house, but no damage to the garden. Luckily, the Fort-Knox of fence we put up around the garden has kept all non-bug pests out, Kelly and I shared the result our first harvest the other night - a meager handful of green beans - and it was delicious. Today I picked a small yellow heirloom cucumber and a scalloped edge squash. I have dozens of tiny heirloom cherry tomatoes that are still bright green, the okra is starting to grow its little fuzzy fingers, and we have crooknecks and zucchini and pickling cukes and specialty bell peppers and whispers of all kinds of greens that are growing back after the bugs devoured the original foliage.

Even though the house is an empty shell right now (even more so because all our stuff is jammed floor-to-ceiling in the closet to keep the drywall dust off of it) I'm still having visions of what it could be like as a little cafe. The walls are painted, art is hung, tables are set, and music is playing. A threesome of 50'ish ladies is enjoying a plate of tea sandwiches and home-made sodas. A pair of 20'ish girls are sharing macaroons and madeleines over their lattes. A local couple, on their way to somewhere else, saw the sign on the corner. They had only stopped in for a coffee, but lingered for the strawberry tart and persimmon linzer torte when they discovered the fruit came from my garden. It's an idealized, technicolor fantasy, but if I keep focused, who knows what can happen?

Today I learned: Black nail polish applied to toes makes your toes resemble watermelon seeds, and therefore, chickens will peck at your feet if you are wearing flip-flops.

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Posted By JoAnna to Mockingbird Acres at 7/10/2009 04:20:00 PM

[Mockingbird Acres] The Saga Continues

2009-06-16T12:11:00.000-07:00

Trixie the dog has been away for 5 or 6 days and we miss her. She has provided many laughs, as well as 3 rescued guinea keets. When the keets would manage to escape their fenced-in area, they would screech loudly as they tried to figure out how to get back in. If I would approach one to try to help, sometimes they would run off into the woods. If Trixie was nearby (which was almost always) she would pursue the bird and eventually either hold it down or gently bring it back to near where I would be standing.
Speaking of guinea keets, only 4 remain in our control. We started raising 21 of them in a large Rubbermaid bin, but when they outgrew that we had to set them up in a fenced enclosure within the garden confines. Many of them either squeezed their way through the fencing or they flew over the top. I also know that the predatory birds were thinning the flock, as well. One morning I heard the keets squawking, and saw a large hawk flying low over the garden. I ran down to chase it off, and found one keet in distress. The hawk had made a grab for this keet, but didn't get it good enough. The keet had claw marks on his head, but seemed to be alright. He is one of the four that remain.

Our "rough-in" electrical inspection was rejected because of a couple minor issues:
1. There is an outdoor recepticle wire that was supposed to be on a circuit that is separate from any indoor circuits.
2. Power run into the guest bath was supposed to be on its own circuit, but it was sharing a circuit with two dining room outlets.

Unfortunately, the inspector only works in this county on Wednesdays and Fridays, so we will have to wait 5 days for re-inspection. Once we are approved we can move forward with these projects:

insulation - walls
Kenny McAfee is a local contractor who does both insulation and heating/air conditioning. He has offered to let me help with the insulation of the walls for a reduced price. He is a really energetic character and I look forward to working with him.

plumbing
The plumber who was recommended will be available to start on Monday, June 22. He is currently in Montana plumbing on a mission with his church. We have to acquire a tub and ADA-compliant sink before he starts.

drywall
We are waiting for an estimate from a guy who hired JoAnna to serve breakfast to a group of drywall delivery drivers as a way to thank them for their good work. I'd like to save some money by doing the walls myself, but there's no way I would attempt the ceiling work.

electric - finish
The electrician will return to install fixtures once the drywall is finished. I am hoping the siding is done at that time so the outside light fixtures can be finished then.

insulation - attic
Kenny McAfee will probably be back to blow cellulose fibers up into the attic space.

HVAC
The full installation of a heat pump system will have to wait until we have more money. Until then, we will use window units for AC and propane for heat if it gets cold before we can afford the big system. Regardless, a woodstove will be installed before we reach the coldest months.

siding and soffit
The price quote I got from the building contractor was higher than we can afford, so I'll be attempting this work on my own. I plan to hire the builder for a few hours to try to learn the best way to do the work.

June is the first month in 15 years that no monthly rent payment was required. For 15 years we have been doing this, but no more. If I had bought a house when I was 12, the 30-year mortgage would be paid off now. But I didn't. I built forts back then. I am typing this from my most recent fort. It has been a rewarding challenge thus far, but easier than I thought it would be. I didn't expect to depend on outside contractors so much, but when it was time to add the roof trusses, it had to be. I'll learn as much as I can from these guys, and examine their techniques and such so when the time comes to build a cottage or other building, my work may only require a review by the pros.

The greenhouse roof plastic finally gave way under the weight of the recent rainwater. The plastic was never intended to be permanent, and the roof was poorly designed, too. Not enough slope. I'll add some height to the ridge with another 2x8 for next season, or maybe we'll use hard plastic corrugated sheets instead. The greenhouse did its job this year, so I guess it wasn't so bad.

We have been staying in our "house" for two weeks now, and we are both greatly looking forward to the upcoming improvements. What we have is like a shell of a house. Without soffits or ceilings, any type of flying or crawling creature could join us on the inside without too much trouble. This was not desired, so I cut 44 pieces from scrap foam insulation and jammed them into the openings. So far, only a couple needed to be reset in place after stormy weather or a careless bird. I think the incidents of bugs have been reduced, too.

Speaking of bugs, the ticks have been relentless. A local commented that they are especially bad this year, so there's hope for next year. I also heard that they usually subside after July, so let's hope again. Next year we'll start with 80 guinea keets. They eat ticks.

Back on moving day, we had a grand ol' adventure. I had spent the night in Murfreesboro with the full 26 foot truck and Render. In the morning, i returned our cable modem and headed home to Prospect. All was going well until I passed the last gas station and then remembered to check the gas gauge on the truck. Empty. But those gauges always give you some leeway, right? So I made it to our place, but had to pass our driveway to turn around for the eastbound approach. There is a sharp left at the start of our driveway, so it's best to swing in from the west. It is also quite steep at the start of the drive, so I approached with some speed to get up the slope. My biggest concern was managing to get the back wheels to not run off the pavement as I made the turn in, but I actually handled that part well. It was the overhang behind the truck wheels that got me. The back bumper and hitch scraped and dug into the pavement to the point where the back tires were nearly off the ground.

No traction to move forward or back. I was stuck. And blocking half of the road. We tried jamming rocks and wood under the drive tires, but to no avail. I started releasing air from the front driver's side tire which lessened the pinch of the back end to just the trailer hitch being on the road surface.

The U-Haul emergency road service phone guy told me that it wasn't an emergency, but he did find the number of a towing company for me. Luckily, a kind neighbor was passing by and offered to head home and return with his tractor. When he did return, we hooked some chain between us and he popped the truck loose in a jiffy.

Then he drove off before I could thank him. We had a busy day after that, unloading the truck - load by load - onto my car trailer, then hauling it uphill to the house. Later, the unloading was a shorter distance as the first stuff on the truck was destined for the shed which is just 20 steps from the road.

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Posted By Kelly to Mockingbird Acres at 6/16/2009 01:52:00 PM

[Mockingbird Acres] Moby Dick reference makes me seem literate!

2009-06-15T16:16:00.000-07:00

We got up early (again) and put more stuff in the ground (again) Other things have had a higher priority, and I find myself putting in 'seedlings' that already have lots of flower buds. Some even have blossoms! I'm trying to learn what the things are by looking at the leaves and the stems, getting to know the plants more intimately than just reading their nametags, but today, what i thought was cucumber, was actually okra.

One of the spots where we were digging resulted in a loud CLANG when Kelly struck it with this huge digging spike. The spike weighs about 25 lbs and is about 6 ft of solid iron. Kelly named Ishmael because it looks like a big harpoon. He used Ishmael to find the edge of the thing, then employed it as a lever, wedging it under the rock. A few grunts and groans later, he unearthed - literally - a huge, flat rock that was probably 6" thick, 18'' wide and 2.5 feet long. we didn't know what to do with it so we placed it in one of the paths. As he was wresting it from the ground, I said, "I bet nobody from your old job would picture you doing this!" With all the climbing and carrying and hammering and shoveling, and all the other heavy lifting that comes with building a house, Kelly's kinda ripped!

After a few hours, it started raining. First just a sprinkle, then a decent downpour with lightning and thunder. We went in for breakfast, and then Kelly took a nap while i picked over a few boxes to see if anything could be consolidated. Then i had to do some office-work for the two jobs i'm doing this week. It's weird to sit down at the computer and not be able to check e-mail!

We still haven't made our 'big purchase' at lowe's, but we'll have to do it soon... we need to get the lights so they can be installed, and we need the bathtub so the plumber can put it in. We allotted space for an extra-long tub, and Kelly seems to be considering upgrading the bathtub to one with whirlpool jets. A guy at the local kitchen & bath fixtures store showed us the difference between a traditional jacuzzi-jet type tub, and one with whirlpool style jets, and the difference was night and day.

We also have to figure out what to do with all our stuff that's scattered all over here while the drywall goes in. Kelly mentioned he might rent a uhaul truck for 3 days and park it up here, just for the waterproof storage ability. He's encouraging me to go on a "Drywall Vacation" since -- in his words -- there's no reason that both of us have to suffer. The major stipulation is have to take Noodles with me, so I can't fly anywhere, but I can drive up to 8 hours. Where should I go? If we were still in L.A. I'd choose Las Vegas - only 5 hrs away and plenty of cheap places that would not only accept pets but would also have kitchenette units.

When the "Drywall Vacation" can start, tho, depends on a lot of factors. The first one being that the electrician we hired made a couple bonehead mistakes and we didn't pass the inspection. One of the mistakes was that there were too many wires being run to one switchbox, and the other is that it's against code to have an outdoor outlet and an indoor outlet run to the same breaker. For someone who made such a big deal of the almighty "CODE" and how many outlets had to be on a wall and whatnot, that one seems like a no-brainer, so i'm especially disappointed with that.

So the electrician has to come in and make the adjustments, and then HE has to buy another permit for re-inspection, and then we have to wait another week before the inspector will come out again. Until we pass the rough-in inspection, we can't do the wall insulation, or plumbing, or drywall, and then the roof insulation, and THEN the electrician comes back to finalize his work, and then the inspector has to come another time.

Kelly's found professionals to do all those other things, gratefully. He wanted to do more himself, but he admitted that he just doesn't have the experience to do it right the first time. Luckily he can be nearby and watch, and a couple of them have made it clear that they wouldn't mind him actively helping and learning.

I've still been making all our food in this makeshift little kitchen, using only electricity indoors. (We haven't fired up the grill in a while, but I probably will later tonight) We have a toaster oven, a microwave, and an electric 'burner'. It's working out okay. I baked a couple dozen cookies to give to Tom Merritt, the guy who brought his big red farm tractor to our driveway, pulled the uhaul out of the rut in the road, and saved the day. I used an electric skillet to make pancakes the other day, which was a nice break from monotonous mornings of cold cereal. Kelly attached the tankless hot-water heater to the wall today, but our propane tank doesn't arrive until tomorrow, so i've been heating water for washing dishes (and showers!) in a 60-cup electric coffeemaker. I also have a rice cooker, a deep fryer, a waffle iron, and even a george foreman grill... none of which have been recruited for active duty. Now that we have reliable electricity, i haven't been using those butane stoves. They were awesome to heat up food when we were eating lunch in the shed, but the fuel is costly and hard to come by, so if we can avoid using them, we will.

It's weird being hyper-attentive to cash these days. I mean, we always were -- which is how we were able to save up to move out here and buy land. We haven't had the guaranteed promise of Kelly' weekly paycheck since September of last year. We're still using our savings and have taken a relatively small loan from Kelly's parents, but within 6 weeks, this house will be finished! Best of all, the land it's on is paid for. No rent. No mortgage. Just utilities, cellphones, groceries, dog- and chicken-food, and an amazingly low annual property tax assessment. Things are looking good.

A bunch of miscellaneous things about the fauna of Mockingbird Acres:
-- we're down to four keets. Despite our best efforts, they rest have either escaped or been attacked. It's sad, but as i've said before, they're not the smartest birds. Not by a long shot.
-- our chickens love watermelon seeds, and then they will peck at the rinds (after we've finished) until nothing's left but the hard green shell. They also love the cracked-corn and wheat berries we bought for them. The maker called it 'scratch' but we call it 'crack'. The most fun i have all day is when I put some in a can and rattle it and call out "CRAAAAAAACK!" and all ten chickens come running full-speed-ahead from wherever they were and look at me expectantly. running chickens are gut-bustingly funny.
-- We are surrounded by critters here! So far we've seen a box turtle, a HUGE snapping turtle the size of a dinner-plate (OMG that thing was FAST and SCARY when it went in for a snap at you! Kelly rescued it from the goat farmer's barking dogs and took it way back past our property line) salamanders, squirrels, and SO MANY kinds of birds of every shape, color and size. We've seen at least two groundhogs, but no other large pests since the possum.
-- there are catfish - and maybe some other kind of fish - in our pond. I couldn't believe it when i saw it but there they were, dozens of them, sunning just below the surface.
-- we have all kinds of frogs, including a big baritone bullfrog whose voice carries forever, and a few toads, too.
-- there are hummingbirds!!! I was really going to miss the hummingbirds that came to our feeders in Glendale, and I'm so thrilled to be able to enjoy them again.
-- butterflies are abundant here, too. Like the birds, all sizes and colors. They're everwhere, all the time. It's like an animated Disney movie: there's a certain kind that seem extra 'friendly' and will come right up and land on you! Sadly, they don't seem to realize that they have two too many legs for me to be okay with them near me and I still freak out.
-- Trixie hasn't been seen for days. I really miss her. I hope that someone just decided that she was as awesome as we thought she was (She never even chased the chickens!) and decided to keep her in their house, but in the back of my mind i fear for the worst. Come back, Trixie!

Kelly's writing his own post, too... so you'll get a double dose, and hopefully not too many repeats.

Today I learned: did you know that you can spend as much as $1600 on a bathtub faucet? That's more than twice what i spent on the whirlpool tub!

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Posted By JoAnna to Mockingbird Acres at 6/14/2009 03:14:00 PM

3 NEW BLOG POSTS

2009-06-07T19:00:00.001-07:00

3 NEW BLOG POSTS on Mockingbird Acres

http://MockingbirdAcres.blogspot.com

Let us know what you think!

New blog entry

2009-05-28T08:27:00.001-07:00

A new post has been added and is ready for you to read: http://MockingbirdAcres.blogspot.com

If you’re enjoying these updates, please leave a comment on the website!

To Kimberly K: I didn’t find anything about mugwort for poison ivy, but lots about jewelweed. Haven’t really had a chance to try to identify it yet.
To Del D: Yes, I have a flushing toilet now!
To Charlie & Cassandra: I had a good laugh at the “smell of prosperity”... It smelled VERY prosperous at the cattle auction!
To David T: Hurrah! Keep cooking! I’m really glad you’re enjoying it so much! (and congrats on the new BF!)
To John A: we also got tired of the L.A. Lifestyle, and all it entails. We’re building this is so that you (as in, “y’all”) can maintain your status quo , but you can escape once in a while.
To Julia & Morgan: Congrats on Desmond! ...so **was** it a slip when you told me about pre-natal vitamins? ;-)
To Shelley H: Keep me posted with what’s going on with your folks... And give me more notice for your next visit out here!

XOXOXO,

JoAnna

[Mockingbird Acres] Tha ROOF! Tha ROOF! Tha roof is in PROSPECT!

2009-05-25T09:35:00.000-07:00

We've been working a lot again, and Kelly mentioned before, that means that by the time we have had supper (that's dinner to most of you folks, LOL) we're plum tuckered out.

Here's what we've done lately:

We finally found a guy to sell us guinea keets. "Keet" is the word for chick when referring to guinea fowl. We got 20 of them, and he threw in an extra. They're cute now, but give them time, and they'll become as ugly as this:
adult guinea Everyone we tell that we got some guineas always make two comments "they're good for keeping the ticks down" and "boy they sure are loud, aren't they?" When they're eating and just hanging out, they peep like little sparrows. When they're being held, or when they're disturbed, or sometimes, just out of the blue....SQUAWK~ SQUAWK~ SQUAWK! It's ear piercing.

The chickens are doing great in their home-made tractor. I'm typing this in a word processor so i don't remember if I said this already, but we have only two roosters out of the 10 I picked! Not bad for a first-time chick-picker! I also don't remember if i identified the breeds: One rooster and two hens are silver laced wyandotte one rooster and three hens are buff orpingtons and the last three hens are solid white, so it's likely they're Leghorn (colloquially pronounced LEG-urn)

Noodles and Trixie got into a little scuffle, but i managed to settle it for them. Sometimes i want to wring her neck, but usually Noodles is pretty mellow. The past two days she was acting ill. She seemed to not have a good sense of balance, she wouldn't jump up on the car tailgate as eagerly as she had before, and wouldn't do that whip-around head-shaking thing things dogs do when they get wet. Also, she spontaneously makes this pained noise that sounds like she was being crushed. She has always been very vocal, but this was different. She'd also be shivering, even when she was warm. I manipulated her legs and poked her a bunch: no reaction. I thought i narrowed it down to her head, so I gave her a chew stick and she went at it like normal: no toothache. I looked in her ears thinking maybe she had an earache, but besides the usual dog ear-gunk, i didn't find ticks or anything unusual. Finally, deciding i couldn't figure out what's wrong with her, and being concerned it wasn't passing, I decided I'd take her to the vet this morning. Therefore, today, she seems back to normal. Go figure. $300 and a couple prescriptions later... I hope she feels better soon.

Tha roof! Tha roof! Tha roof is in Prospect!
Right now there are two men walking along the new roof of my house, wielding an impact hammer that drives nails in with compressed air. What an amazing machine. They're wearing t-shirts and shorts and gym shoes, no safety glasses and they're being lifted up and down on a forklift that has an articulating arm. I can scarcely watch.

Kelly said it would be a nice gesture if I would make dinner (lunch) for them, and I was happy to cook. I made burgers yesterday, served with grilled corn-on-the-cob and coleslaw, and (sadly, instant) chocolate pudding with bananas for dessert. Today I'm doing apple & chipotle glazed pork chops, with potato salad, and sliced cucumbers & tomatoes, and chocolate chip cookies (store bought. I want to cook!).

Today I learned: No matter how nicely you ask for a ride on a big green extension forklift, you won't be allowed to ride.

Photos, as before, are up on flickr: Click here!

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Posted By JoAnna to Mockingbird Acres at 5/20/2009 10:49:00 AM

[Mockingbird Acres] cattle auction

2009-05-25T08:49:00.000-07:00

8:36 PM Another two-day stint at Mockingbird Acres. Tuesday is the day of the weekly livestock auction in Pulaski, so we went yesterday to find goats. We didn't know what time it all started (and it's not so easy to find these things out!) and while we missed out on the goat part, we arrived just in time for the cattle auction (which included a few pigs, too)

We parked in the lot among the many pickup trucks and trailers, and Kelly noted how conscientious everyone was about leaving room for everyone else.

I'm not exaggerating when say that i felt that I'd entered into a scene from a Norman Rockwell painting. Baseball caps outnumbered cowboy hats, but there were plenty of overalls. The men who arrived early got the "good" seats, squeaky old office chairs arranged in the first two rows, and they had the best view of the pen. Behind them, and to the sides, there was sturdy wooden stadium seating. There was a lot of visiting going on, and Kelly wondered how many of these guys had been coming to this place since they were teenagers. I was one of only three women in the seating area, but I'm not used to the feeling. I can accept that i may stick out a bit, and I'm fine with it, but I'm just not used to it yet.

The smell was strong, but not horrible. It smelled like going to the zoo, inasmuch as you could tell there were animals there, but it didn't have an intolerable strong stench of manure.

After a little bit, the auction started. The yeller (guy who calls the auction) kept up a steady chatter -- we could barely understand him -- and we marveled at how difficult it would be if we really wanted to bid on a cow! I didn't realize that a yeller's chatter was so much nonsense. What's the purpose of this? "herewehavetwoheifersandonesteer twoheifersandonesteer openingbidonehundreddoihearonehundred beedeebeedeebeededoihearoneten beedeebeedeebeedeeonetenoverhere onetwentybeedeebeedeebeedeeonethirty beedeebeedeebeedeeonethirty beedeebeedeebeedeeonethirty beedeebeedeebeedeeonethirty" I always thought that a yeller was actually SAYING something during that unintelligible part, but it's really just gibberish.

There was a well-orchestrated arrangement where the livestock would enter from stage right: a man pulled a rope to open the door from the pens. He and two other men wielded electrified plastic paddles, which they used to keep the critters moving in the pen while they were being auctioned. Each of the three guys had their own area sectioned off by a strong metal gate. They'd retreat behind these before any animal was let in the pen, and then come out to jostle the animals, or to guide them out the exit door, stage left.

Incredibly, there was an onsite restaurant: The Stockyard Cafe, serving up fried pork chops, greens, and other rib-sticking fare. I didn't go in, and i only saw one person eating food from a sectioned Styrofoam tray. I said before that the animal smell was bearable, but it certainly killed my appetite.

My Chicago family has told me that they have a hard time reading the blog when there are too many photographs uploaded here (they've got an old computer & (gasp!) dialup, so please click here to see the most recent batch of photos!

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Posted By JoAnna to Mockingbird Acres at 5/13/2009 10:45:00 AM

Blog Update: Mockingbird Acres

2009-05-09T22:55:00.000-07:00

You can also read this post with photos included at http://mockingbirdacres.blogspot.com/2009/05/test-post.html
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We stayed in Prospect for three days and two nights this time. I am horribly behind on e-mail and I owe a bunch of you phonecalls, too. This is going to be a rather epic post, because things are moving fast around here, and everything's kind of blending together from one day to the next.

This was the longest stretch of staying overnight so far. I am happy to report that Kelly and I are both alive and well (meaning we haven't killed each other) as are Render and Noodles, and Trixie, and all 10 chickens.

Wait, what about the ducklings? I gave the ducklings away to a French-Canadian farmer now residing in middle TN. They were getting too big and too loud for me to keep hiding them in the apartment, plus, they were really messy. They were very cute, but somehow I managed to not get too attached to them.

Kelly's doing the construction of the walls right now. In fact, as of 6:05 PM on 05/07/09, 2009 he's got half of the wall studs up! (PHOTO) I've been spending most of my time planting seeds and caring for our seedlings; more on that later.

Building materials can range from very expensive (my tastes) to downright cheap (my budget) and we're trying to compromise and find something in-between. We've found some great deals on CraigsList, including the casement windows and two different batches of windows we'll be using to build the kitchen greenhouse (as opposed to the shed's greenhouse where I spend most of my time). Kelly found a CraigsList ad for a company that was consolidating its warehouses from 5 locations down to 3, and had some exterior doors they were selling below cost. Kelly went there first, saw some he liked, and then sent me over to have a peek. I liked the one with the transom & sidelights, for only $120 but it was too big. Then I saw they also had one with just the sidelights, for $100, and some others. We were both excited to find such a great deal, so we both went there yesterday, on our way to Prospect, to go get them. Luckily, Kelly noticed that ALL doors we liked best opened the wrong way. If we mounted that right-handed door as our front door, it would block access to the room. It would have been one of those things that we'd quickly find annoying. We decided that we didn't want to mess around with that - we have enough on our plate as it is! - and opted to pass. It's not a bargain if you have to spend more time and/or money to make it work the way you want it to. So we were back to square one.

We had to buy the doors sooner than later, so Kelly can build the walls, so we can get the roof on. Last night, we went to Home Depot to pick out what we needed. I really wanted to do a nice front-entry door, with the transom and the sidelights and custom glass. Joey the Door Guy at Home Depot typed it all into the computer, and just that one door came out to $1300. WHOOPS! Sorry, try again. In the end, we picked out three exterior doors, a sliding-glass patio door, and the French doors that go from the Great Room to the Kitchen. Luckily it was the last day of their 20% off sale, so we got everything for about $3k including tax. Everything was considered a special order except for the patio doors, so we didn't really do too badly. And I still got a nice-looking front door.

Yesterday I took a drive into Columbia, TN to go pick out the color of the roof. The fabricator represented four companies, and each had about 25 colors to choose from... but the funny thing is that all 4 companies used the exact same 25 colors. We went with charcoal, as we plan to stain the wood of the board and batten facade a kind of a muted blue/gray.

The dogs are holding up well, both Render and Noodles are adapting. I put Advantage on them both, but Render still seems to attract a lot of ticks. Trixie has completely adopted us, and we thing she's really sweet so it's become mutual. The first night we stayed over, she barked nearly all night. We didn't know what to do besides put in earplugs. Recently, she did the same thing, barking for what seemed to be HOURS. This time, though, she was closer to the house. After an eternity, I asked Kelly if we could drive somewhere to sleep. He went outside and saw that Trixie had cornered an opossum. It was a standoff, with Trixie barking and the possum hissing and neither gaining ground on the other. Kelly grabbed a 2x4 and whacked at the possum. Trixie saw her opportunity and went in for the kill. The possum was dead. Trixie was quiet. We went back to bed.

We decided that if she was going to keep barking at every critter she found all night, maybe we could keep her inside the shed with us. The next night we stayed over, we put our dogs in their respective crates, and gave Trixie a sheet to sleep on. She was quiet all night. The next time we stayed over, Kelly fed Render and Noodles... but since we were basically kidnapping Trixie by keeping her closed up with us, I told him that it would be rude to not give her food too! Trixie got a paper plate of kibble and snuggled into her blanket and we all enjoyed another quiet night.

I've been keeping very busy with food production. Four meals a day for Kelly, plus the long-term production of planting seeds for our garden. I've got all the heirloom seeds I've bought, plus seeds from the beans, peas, peppers, melons, tomatoes and winter squash that I've saved. I've also sprouted out lemongrass stalks. A million little containers, a few bags of potting soil, and a hand-pump pressure-sprayer for misting the tiny seedlings. I can put on my iPod and listen to all the NPR podcasts for hours as I sift dirt, fill pots, plant seeds & mist them. I really love spending time in my greenhouse. I get so excited over every teensy little leaf that comes up!

One thing that doesn't seem to have any trouble growing is poison ivy. I've never experienced it before, but I was nervous about it and looked up photos on the web. Oh yeah, we got it. I bought the special Roundup for Poison Ivy because I'm not screwing around with that nonsense. I also bought several pairs of yellow dishwashing gloves for pulling it out. The most important purchase was a bottle of TECNU, a special cleansing cream that gets rid of the urushiol chemical before it can bind to your skin. I hope we never have to use it, but I know I'd feel like an idiot if we needed it and I didn't have it. It's pretty cheap insurance.

The chickens getting big. So big, we can't even refer to them as chicks anymore. In addition to the grow-ration, we're feeding them food scraps: trimmings from green beans and broccoli, strawberry stems and corncobs. They're in competition with the composting worms for food now! (aren’t you glad I'm sparing you from any photos of 1lb of worms!) The chickens really seem to love their "tractor" since they get sunshine and fresh air and grass to scratch at. Fresh eggs are just around the corner!

We can't wait to share this place with our friends (and hopefully paying guests!) but we want to do more than simply encourage people to visit us; we want to remove as many obstacles as possible so that everyone can come and enjoy the place. We want to create a safe environment and make our home accessible to the elderly and people who have a disability or use a wheelchair. In the short run, this will add to the multitude of things to consider. We already purchased an extra-high-seat toilet, but we'll also need a wall mounted sink in the guest bathroom, ramps instead of stairs, wide doorways... and eventually handrails and special shower seats when we build the bathroom in at least one of the cottages. It would be great if we could just do what logically makes sense, but there are laws in place for this kind of thing. Some people consider them foolish, but want to do it right the first time, because it'll cost more to retrofit than it will to just build it according to code.

So that's the story at this point. I'll upload photos from the library in the morning (it's 12:22 AM right now) but right now I'm going to bed. If you have any question for us, please leave a comment and I'll answer in the next post.

Chef JoAnna, Inc.
    Mobile: 931-309-9915
    Office: 615-247-5800
PERSONAL CHEF: http://ChefJoAnna.com
BED & BISTRO: http://MockingbirdAcres.com
    Yahoo/AOL: ChefJoAnnaM
    Skype/Gmail: ChefJoAnna

• ~~~~~ • ~~~~~ • ~~~~~ • ~~~~~ • ~~~~~ •
Connect with me: http://claimid.com/chefjoanna
• ~~~~~ • ~~~~~ • ~~~~~ • ~~~~~ • ~~~~~ •
[awaiting reply]

The Mockingbird Acres blog - you are subscribed!

2009-05-04T10:25:00.001-07:00

Dear friends and family,

You have been subscribed to the Mockingbird Acres mailing list!

You'll receive a notification of all the goings-on at our little farm in Prospect, TN as they happen.

Thanks for joining us, and we hope you can come visit us soon!

JoAnna & Kelly

P. S. If you ever want to stop receiving these emails, please send a message to "unsubscribe@mockingbirdacres.com"

Phone: 931-309-9915
E-mail: contact@MockingbirdAcres.com
Blog: http://MockingbirdAcres.blogspot.com
Website: http://MockingbirdAcres.com
Photos: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mockingbirdacres

The Mockingbird Acres blog - you are subscribed!

2009-05-04T09:39:00.001-07:00

How to conquer your pile of recipe clippings

2008-11-06T12:17:00.000-08:00

Everyone who has ever cooked has used a written recipe of some type. If you're lucky, you're content with a small library of cookbooks and you refer to them as necessary. If you're like the rest of us food-obsessed people, you probably have stacks of cookbooks, dozens of links to recipe websites, and stacks of magazines. And I'll bet that there's a few of you out there with that most dreaded of beasts, THE THREE RING BINDER. You wish this horrid creature would go away, but how can it? You're always feeding it more-more-more. Slips of paper with handwritten notes, newspaper clippings with black-and-white photos, and stained index cards with directions and ingredients of untold culinary delights just waiting to be made.

It might feel like you just want to shove the whole thing in the broiler, fire it up, clear up the ashes and start from scratch, but how can you part with these treasures? Family heirlooms! The recipe for the best-ever pizza crust could be in that pile! Chicken with raisins and cinnamon sounds so weird, but it might be delicious, but how will you ever know if you throw it out? That one recipe for pissaladière, that survived the garbage bin through several apartment changes... but that you did, finally, make one day and it turned out so good that it made you decide to dedicate the next two years to attending culinary school.

What I did with my pile (and still do, as the pile ever grows!) was to break it down into manageable sized-bites. Sit down with a cup of tea and pick out about a half-inch stack. Sort them by major type, such as protein, carb, veggie, appetizer, dessert. Then, each week when you make your menus, pick out a few that you haven't tried, and make them! If they're winners, then type them up and keep them on your computer. (more on that in a minute) If not, then you didn't waste time typing in all those fractions.

Ah yes, the computer. If you type in a couple recipes at a time, you'll get through them eventually. Make one document for each recipe (any simple text editor will do) and file them in folders the same way you sorted them into piles before. Whether you are doing a search or looking by category, you should be able to access any recipe with a few clicks. Here's my organization rules:

click to embiggen

Do I have cookbooks? Yes of course.
Am I still compelled to tear recipes out of magazines? Guilty!
Is there still a pile of ragged-edged pages sticking out of my recipes folder? You Betcha!

...but little by little, I'm whittling it down, and incorporating some new recipes into my repertoire.

This has inspired me to attack my pile for a few minutes...as soon as the kettle whistles!

Technorati Tags: Chef JoAnna is a classically trained chef and Food Blogger who's starting Mockingbird Acres a Bed & Bistro in Prospect, TN (In Giles County)

The prodigal blogger returns... somewhere else

2008-09-22T05:33:00.000-07:00

So, have i mentioned that i'm moving to Tennessee?

I'm blogging at a new site now, to chronicle the transition to Nashville and the developments of my new project, Mockingbird Acres.

Please visit me at my new blog, http://MockingbirdAcres.blogspot.com, but don't delete your links to this blog just yet! There will be a whole lot more to talk about working as a chef specializing in "in-home fine dining".

The saddest part is that the clients i've worked for in the past 6 months have been AWESOME. Not only are people finally 'getting' the concept of what i'm doing, they'd been referring me to their friends - whether directly or through buying my services as a gift certificate for them.

In fact, the last few clients even said, "...but we just found you!" which i think is simply the most flattering thing they could possibly say.

I'm also going to miss my assistant, Matthew, so very, very much. My testimony for CraigsList is that there really are good, smart, reliable, honest, hardworking people who post their résumés on CraigsList... though they be few and far-between... but i hit the jackpot when I found Matthew. We even said that we got along like brother-and-sister, because we'd tease each other and joke around so easily. One of the things i appreciated most about him was that he'd give it to you straight. If I asked him "what do you think" he'd tell me without sugar-coating it or hedging against what he thought I'd want him to say. Simply put, I trust him.

Working as the right-hand to an entrepreneur can't be easy, but his even temper - not to mention boundless patience - brought a much-needed stability to my hectic life. His job was particularly unique in that he'd work during the week in my office, and on the weekends assisting me in my clients' kitchens. he came to me without a whole lot of fine-dining experience, but was always eager to learn. He never shirked at any job, but even more importantly, there were several instances where i'd ask him to do something, and he'd have already done it. He's acquired skills that would make him adept in any kitchen environment.

(as a post-script, I've been having the hardest time trying to write a letter of recommendation for Matthew, but I think i just did! it needs a few tweaks, of course, but i might as well finish it...)

If I wasn't moving out of state, I'd want to jealously keep him for myself, but seeing as how I can't entice him to come to Nashville with me, I wouldn't hesitate recommending him to anyone, for anything.

So anyway, come check out the new blog. Also, look me up on FriendFeed, since i twitter more than i blog.

Preemptive answers to questions everyone asks:

2008-08-30T18:43:00.000-07:00

1) No, I don't work for a restaurant, I'm pretty much a freelance chef.
2) Married, no kids, 2 dogs, and soon to have cats, chickens, ducks, goats, a cow and a donkey.
3) Yes, I have worked for celebrities in Los Angeles; most were very nice. Really.
4) No, I've never auditioned for the reality shows but they've invited me to try out. I've been on a couple of reality shows as a "guest chef" and those were fun.
5) We wanted to move to Nashville because, besides being 'done' with L.A., we want to start a farm, and open a Bed & Breakfast. (http://mockingbirdacres.com if you're interested!)
6) Bread and butter. GOOD, home-made fresh bread, and salted butter.

What questions do you have that I didn't answer?

Last thing I ate or drank: home-made peach & yogurt popsicle

Technorati Tags: Food and Drink in Los Angeles

"What's the worst catering job you've ever done?"

2008-05-24T15:32:00.000-07:00

Last night's event officially claimed the honor of being the answer to that question.

First I opened the can of “crab meat” but it was layers and layers of claws with a tiny bit of meat attached. To make the crabcakes, I had to pluck the meat off of these plastic-y looking cartilage things that were inside each bit of meat.

Then power went out! which meant I couldn’t use my electric mixer, and I had to make the aioli with a whisk by hand. Also, the oven was powered electrically, so I couldn’t bake anything, and I had to cook everything on the stove. (Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster that the gas still worked!)

Then, it got dark. REALLY DARK. I had to cook by candlelight.

THEN, even though I was careful, the sink got backed up, and we couldn’t use the disposal. So I couldn’t even wash any dishes. I had to take everything home dirty, and washed as much as I could bear... the rest will be waiting for me when I get back to Los Angeles. :-(

Did i mention that this was for a wedding "reception" dinner? Poor things, what an awful situation... But everyone said they couldn’t believe that I just kept on cooking and served everything on the menu. Amy, the bride, even said that the food was delicious, and she’d never have noticed that the power was out from my cooking.

So here's me, dead tired, signing off.

Last thing I ate or drank: home-made gingerbread muffin and some red & green grapes

Technorati Tags: Food and Drink in Los Angeles

With all due respect, I disagree:

2008-04-21T15:10:00.000-07:00

L.A. times writer Monica Corcoran had an article out on "Party planners' quick-and-dirty tips" which featured Bryan Rabin and Jeffrey Best "two of LA’s top party planners" according to whoever hires people to plan events on the scale of an Oscar party thrown by Madonna. Click here to read the article.

Anyway, I'm reading this article, and one of the questions is Do you need to consult your guests about food allergies and finicky tendencies? Bryan Rabin gave his reply: It's so L.A. You should ask around and see if anyone is a vegetarian or has food allergies. But don't plan the menu around someone who has allergies. Just prepare a special dish for that person. That made me remember a dinner for 10 that I prepared recently.

I grilled the host's assistant (well, not literally) about whether anyone had any allergies or other dietary restrictions. I was told that a few of the guests were vegetarian. I confirmed, "Only vegetarian, or vegan? I can use milk, butter, cheese, eggs..." and she said yes, just vegetarian. "Maybe you can make the whole meal vegetarian."

No problem! So I come up with a menu: A bunch of nice appetizers, a salad, a very hearty risotto with butternut squash, and several vegetable side dishes. I also ask people do they like something with fruit or chocolate for dessert. She chose chocolate, so in staying with the Italian theme set by the risotto, I made a cassata. (pound cake with marscapone cheese filling, covered with whipped chocolate ganache).

One of the guests approached me about 45 minutes before service, and asked what was on the menu. As i told him, he nodded, and then said, "So, nothing is vegan, then?" Well, nothing was intended to be vegan!

As you can imagine, by that point, most everything is nearly completed, just requiring a few finishing touches. I mentally scanned the menu, and there were still a couple of things that I could tweak, like not adding Parmesan cheese to one of the salads or to one portion of the risotto, not adding butter to the vegetables....but the cake was finished, and there was no un-doing it.

I had intended to garnish the risotto with a slice of green apple lightly sautéed in butter, but instead, I made a little dessert with the apple, plus some brown sugar, cinnamon, orange juice & zest, and whatever else i could scrounge. After serving this poor guy a whole bunch of plain food, I wanted to do something special for him.

Come time for dessert, I sauced the plates, served up slices of the cake, and arranged this little apple creation for him. When i served everyone the cake, and gave him his special vegan dessert, he looked at me like I'd set an assortment of rocks on his plate.

Vegan Guy: What is this?

Me: A baked apple with cinnamon and an orange sauce. It's vegan!

Vegan guy: Oh....

Guy across the table: (loud enough for all the other 9 guests to hear) Duuuuuuuuude! What did you do to piss off the chef? WE all got chocolate cake!

Me: Oh, ha ha, (gulp) nothing's wrong. (nervous smile) This is vegan.

Vegan guy: (clearly not pleased at the attention) Oh. Uh ...thanks.

But then, while I was cleaning the kitchen, I watched as he ate the butter/cream/cheese/egg cake off the loud guy's plate.*

So, no, Bryan Rabin, don't just serve them something special, particularly if it's especially obvious that it's different. If you're the host, realize that nobody wants to be singled out as different from the rest of the guests. A good chef can work with you to make something that works for everyone.

* I seriously don't care if you are wearing a PETA shirt under your fur coat while you gnaw the heads off of live baby koalas. And I'll never forget that one guy who, when someone said, "Hey, I thought you were Jewish, too!" replied with "Yeah, but I LOVE bacon, I just don't eat it in front of my kids." Whatever floats your boat. You hire me to cook for you, I'll do whatever you ask. But you gotta ask!

Last thing I ate or drank: Cold Filet of Salmon with Aioli, over Mixed Greens and Belgian Endive

Technorati Tags: Food and Drink in Los Angeles

Grilled Cheese Invitational: LOCATION ANNOUNCED!

2008-04-18T01:19:00.000-07:00

---------------------------------
I'm so bummed that i took work and i can't do this, because it sounds like SO MUCH FUN! If you go, please take lots of pictures and smuggle me out some samples.
---------------------------------

Greetings Cheese Enthusiasts!
This is the moment you have all been waiting for! Everything is coming together. Grills are at the ready. Loaves are waiting to be sliced. The cheese is...well...cheese!
The 1st 6th Annual National Grilled Cheese Invitational is merely hours away!
But first, some quick updates....
As you are probably already aware, the exposure for this event has gotten completely out of control! Los Angeles demands cheese! The public response to this event that I started six years ago is quite humbling and I'm so psyched to see that everybody loves grilled cheese as much as I do.
The unfortunate part is that the event location can only hold so many people and the parking lot can only hold so many cars, and not everybody will be able to get in to enjoy the Invitational.
Once the capacity for the event site has been reached, no one else will be allowed in, so do make sure to get there early, as we cannot guarantee space or promise anything.
CARPOOL, everybody! Seriously. This can't be stressed enough.
The more people who carpool, the more people will be able to get in to enjoy the event.
If when you get to the event, you see signs announcing that the event is at capacity, we apologize, but we mean it.
If you get into the event, you are more than welcome to bring beverages with you, however they must be non-alcoholic and in an unbreakable containers.
This is an adult event and the tone runs somewhere between PG-13 and a soft R, so please use judgement with regard to bringing young children. I mean, look at the names of the sammich categories.
If you have some poems about cheese, we'd love to hear 'em while the competitors grill. Stop by the stage and see one of the MCs to get on the schedule.
The event opens at 5:00pm and grilling starts promptly at 5:30 and will run till 9:00pm, or until we run out of cheese.
There will be over 140 people grilling in competition at the event!
As an added bonus, Kraft Singles has signed on board as a sponsor and will be on hand providing thousands of samples of the sammich that started it all plus all sorts of awesome freebies!
Also, IZZE beverages will be there in force and providing free samples of their sparking fruit juices as well.
There will be also be T-shirts, aprons and hoodies available for sale! Show your support for the event and also pick up some of the most frighteningly awesome merch you'll ever have the pleasure of wearing on your own body.
Have fun and remember, with a little bread, butter and cheese, even you too could be a Grilled Cheese Champion!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
The event takes place at:
Crystal Springs Picnic Grove
Griffith Park
4730 Crystal Springs Dr
Los Angeles, CA 90027
Saturday April 19th
Event opens at 5:00pm
Grilling commences promptly at 5:30pm
Trophies awarded by 9:30pm
That address will get you into the park by the pony rides, but you'll want to follow the signs to the Crystal Springs Picnic Grove.
Here's a fancy google maps link that better shows where we'll be:
http://tinyurl.com/5y9umt
If you don't end up getting into the event, once again, I apologize.
But I also promise to you that next year's national grilled cheese Invitational will be in a much larger venue that will accommodate all the cheesey masses yearning eat cheese!
Yours in bread, butter, cheese and victory,
Tim Walker
Chief Instigator & Founder
Grilled Cheese Invitational
http://www.grilledcheeseinvitational.com

Earth day column I wrote for ChefsLine

2008-04-16T11:10:00.000-07:00

Earth Day will be celebrated next Tuesday, April 22. I thought it would be a good time to ask some of the other ChefsLine team to suggest some steps we could take in our home kitchens to have a positive impact on the environment... or at least to tread a little lighter. WOW, they came up with some really great ideas! The cool thing is that these adjustments are simple enough that you can put them into action immediately.

ChefsLine's Suggestions for Earth Day (...and every day!)
Chef Richard: Prepare a One-Pot meal. You'll conserve energy by using only one burner on the stove, and save water because you have to wash only one pot that night.
Chef Robyn: Treat yourself and support healthier cows with a milkshake or smoothie made with organic milk, or even better, yogurt and local fruit! Your body and taste buds will feel like a million bucks.
Chef Adrienne: Be certain that your used plastic bags from the grocery store are in a place where you can grab and go so you can reuse them. Even better, bring your own bag to the market.
Melissa: If you wash dishes by hand, do it right away and you'll use less water. If you use the dishwasher, make sure that it's completely filled up before running it, and use an environmentally friendly detergent.

And here are a few ideas that I'd like to contribute:

Buy fresh, local produce. Not only does it taste better, but you might not realize that frozen food requires a lot of energy to keep it frozen, and usually travels futher, which uses gasoline and creates carbon emissions.
Consider purchasing your staples in bulk. (rice, beans, flour, etc.) buying food in packages requires the use of paper, cardboard and plastic and other materials that need to be recycled. Recycling's great but it still takes energy!
If you eat meat, you don't have to go vegetarian to be environmentally friendly. Just eat less of it. It takes about 4 pounds of grain to raise 1 pound of beef, plus something like 2500 gallons of water! So if you're used to eating an 8 oz portion, eat 4 oz instead, and eat more vegetables. A good book you can read about this is The Omnivore's Delimma.

Sometimes it just takes looking at an idea from someone else's perspective to see how easy it is to make a few small changes to your day-to-day life, and it's empowering to see how subtle adjustments to how you get things done can make an impact on being "green".

Interviewed on the Kick Back Kook show.

2008-04-11T22:15:00.000-07:00

Today i participated in an interview on Angela McKeller's podcast show, KickBackKook. Myself and two amateur chefs made the recipe that can be found on Angela's website http://www.kickbackkook.com

Listen to the podcast, and let me know what you think! I took more pictures of the dishes i made, which you can find here.

Last thing I ate or drank: dinner at Bistro Provence:
1st course, crispy gnocchi with sautéed vegetables and lardons
entrée, duck breast with mushroom croquette
dessert, lemon curd with strawberries and citrus meringue
Technorati Tags: Food and Drink in Los Angeles

TELEVISION opportunity: Grill It!

2008-03-31T17:10:00.000-07:00

I'm too old and too professional for this show, and I've already been on a Bobby Flay show... but maybe someone else can pitch this?

FOOD NETWORK seeks Cool, Young & Diverse Grillers!
Reply to: grillitwithbobby@gmail.com
Date: 2008-03-31, 2:49PM

If you love to grill and have a unique recipe--nothing from a can--we want to hear from you! The Food Network is launching a new cooking series with Bobby Flay called Grill It! and is looking for young (21-35), cool, diverse people with BIG personalities˜especially females and those who can grill a dessert!
To apply, please create a 3-5 minute VHS Tape or DVD in which you cook us your favorite dish. Tell us the history of your recipe, the ingredients you use, and why you love to grill. All applicants must have a terrific personality and must illustrate why you‚d make a fantastic candidate for GRILL IT! with Bobby Flay! Unlike "Throwdown with Bobby Flay" this is not a competition, instead GRILL IT! shows people how to grill with a well-stocked kitchen.
All applicants must live in the U.S and be 18 and over (although quick-witted teenagers with parents‚ permission can apply). Professional chefs need not apply.
To be considered, please mail your submission tape, original recipe and photo of yourself to the address below no later than April 8th.
Embassy Row
ATT: GRILL IT!
110 Leroy Street, 7th Fl.
New York City, NY 10014
Questions? Email us at grillitwithbobby@gmail.com or call 646.747.4728

-------------------------------------------------
Compensation: We'll fly you to NYC and put you up for 1 night
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
Original URL: http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/tfr/625568978.html

Last thing I ate or drank: onion foccacia i made over the weekend.

Technorati Tags: Food and Drink in Los Angeles

Book Review: He Said Beer, She Said Wine

2008-03-26T13:51:00.000-07:00

I recently received a review copy of He Said Beer, She Said Wine and was really excited to get into it. I love wine, and usually have a dozen or so bottles at any given time. I try to run the gamut, having everything from sweet Riesling and Dry Gewurtztraminer to robust Cabernet and Syrah. A lot of my friends, however, are into beer (and scotch, but that's another story). Usually the only beer I have in my house is the Corona I like, the Guiness my husband likes, and whatever said friends have left behind from their last visit. In fact, there's a bottle of Chimay in the fridge door, and a few other miscellaneous bottles that roll around in the produce drawers.
(Don't fret, I have produce, I just don't keep most of it in the refrigerator!)

After the above confession, I wouldn't be too surprised if author who covered the beer-half of the book (Sam Calagione, who bears a passing resemblance to David Duchovny) were to come here and bash me over the head with a hefty bottle of XX Bitter Golden Ale. I was looking forward to a crash course in beer varieties without my head exploding like a Heinekin left in the hot sun.

So the first impression of this book is made by the gorgeous food photography. I could lick the pages. I sat down with the book after dinner a couple nights, and found my self hungry again. And thirsty: the beverages are photographed in well-lit glassware appropriate to the contents. Also, the design of the book in general is, for lack of a better word, cute, and I don't mean that disparagingly. The pages that talk about fish pairings are bordered with fishnet. The cheese pages are bordered with woodgrain, to invoke a cheeseboard. The page numbers are adorned with either beer bottlecaps or rings of wine-stain (which is a curious choice), or both bottlecaps and stains, to indicate whether the page discusses either or both. A final note on the design, which you might find petty, is that the body copy is in a fine-lined sans-serif font, (which means straight lines and curves, without embellishment, like this), instead of a serif font (that has little thingamajigs on the ends of each line, like this). To me, the sans-serif font makes it sort of difficult to read on paper. I'm not even 40 and I found myself squinting. I'll forgo critique of the myriad of font choices, because only a handful of people will feel the same pain.

Next, to the characters: Marnie and Sam each have impressive resumes, and each is extremely qualified to handle his/her section. Marnie is pictured in plain-yet-elegant dresses with a smart haircut (my hair will never lay that flat!). She looks like she'd have a great laugh. Sam is shown in untucked, spread-collar shirts and dockers, looking very much like the kind of guy who'd be as comfortable tending bar as bellying up to one. I mean this in a good way. The book is based, of course, on the He-Says-She-Says of which libation is more appropriate for a given food, and that feeling seasons each section.

On to the content! we start with a "primer" for each beverage. How they came to be, what they're made from, and the ingredients and techniques used to produce the individuality of each drink. Well done, and very appropriate for a newbie or a not-so-seasoned afficionado.

Then, they go food-by-food, picking out a couple items from each genre (for spicy foods, they choose chorizo, kung pao chicken, jambalaya...you get the idea) and pair those choices with wines and beers. Throughout, there are graphs and charts and tables and grids, and that gives the impression of a textbook. I think that many people appreciate an graphical approach than column after column of dry text. Even though they DO include that archaic tongue map. Twice. (sigh)

The part of the book that does the least for me is the "Which Drink Wins" section that follows each food category. Each author says a paragraph extolling the virtues of his or her preferred drink, while degrading that of the other. Here's one of the first examples. The following transcription is truncated, I grant you, but it sounds like a playground argument of "my dad can beat up your dad".
      Marnie: ...there's a reason we have 'wine and cheese' parties and not 'beer and cheese' parties.
      Sam: we DO have beer and cheese parties. What do you serve with pizza... Pizza is nothing more than a giant melted cheese sandwich.
      Marnie: We're talking about real cheese, not 'cheez' with a 'z'.
Also, esoteric as it may be, I will mention that I felt the layout of this feature is dizzying. Bold, all-caps, serif, sans-serif, script font, headline fonts...the typographer must have been drinking both beer AND wine when setting this one up. Again, I'm sure I'm in the minority of people who even notice.

The last part is The Great Debate At Home, which includes recipes and specific beverage selections, as well as detailed instructions as to how to do your own side-by-side evaluation.

Actually the REAL last part is the makeup -slash- confession by each author that maybe (wine/beer) is not the end-all be-all of beverages, and that perhaps a good (beer/wine) does have its place at the table.

So what's my final verdict? I feel it serves its pupose excellently... provided its purpose is to give someone a more-than-basic overview of how to match foods and wines. Take away the debate and the textbook aspect, and I'd be inclined to see this as a coffee-table book, something to be paged through casually while ogling the food porn and making you lust for a glass of something... anything... But with those essential parts, you get a fun, uncomplicated and very approachable book that will do its best to encourage you to be more adventurous with what you eat & drink.

I might even have to crack open that Chimay to enjoy with the roast beef I'll be having for dinner!

"you oughta be in pictures"

2008-02-29T16:07:00.000-08:00

http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifoh yeah, and Reality TV wants me again. http://snipr.com/20p1c I like you, Chef Ramsey, i do... but i'm not going on THIS show either, ok?

Last thing I ate or drank: kurobuta pork sandwich from Violet. MOAN nom nom nom

Technorati Tags: Food and Drink in Los Angeles

DineLA review: Minx Restaurant and Lounge in Glendale, CA

2008-02-04T23:34:00.000-08:00

Just got home from the most amazing dinner of my DineLA experiences yet: MINX in Glendale! OMG who knew? Everything was PERFECT! Amazing food. Just WOW.

Since the place is all colored lights and triangles of "sails" over the patio, I wasn't sure what to expect. My husband even said he thought it looked like it might be like an upscale version of Chili's.

Boy was he wrong. It was plainly the best meal I've had so far from the DineLA program.

First off, I might mention: the best part of taking my husband with me on these meals is that neither of us is squeamish about eating half of the food and then trading plates. You can never get the full impression of someone else's dish by one bite ferried over on a fork.

We started with an order of crabcakes and an order of ahi tartare. Devoured. Surprise of the appetizer course: onion sprouts! (since the seeds were still attached, I think you call them sprouts as opposed to microgreens?)

Then the entrée. Oh My God. We got the Truffle-crusted New Zealand Lamb Loin with Creamy Polenta, Wild Mushrooms and Truffle Jus;, as well as the Petit Filet Mignon with Garlic Mashed Potatoes, Sautéed Spinach and Beer Battered Onion Rings. Both were amazing... and I have to confess, I had a hard time stopping at half of the lamb so I could pass it to my husband. It was cooked perfectly. The crust was delicious. the mushrooms, veggie puree, the sautéed greens, all of it. YUM. The filet mignon came with a very generous portion of garlic mashed potatoes and sautéed spinach (flavored differently from the lamb's greens) and two enormous onion rings. Someone must have put out a memo and declared all fancy onion rings shall be made from red onion.

By the way, the platings were gorgeous. Everything was arranged just right: sauces, height, colors, balance, all of it. lovely.

My favorite thing about these DineLA menus is that you get dessert. Period. You don't have to ponder and fret over whether or not you should get something, because it's included. He chose the Fiji Apple Tartlet with Cinnamon Crumble and Butter-Pecan Gelato, I got the Chocolate-Hazelnut Pot de Creme with Bourbon Chantilly. He loved his apple dessert, and I think I died and went to heaven with mine. He's not a fan of chocolate, and I'm glad, because I nearly finished the thing! I'm a sucker for hazelnut-praline.

I've got to counter all the negative reviews I'd just seen when looking up the chef's name. I know that this place has been having trouble with finding a good manager, because they're posting ads all the time. The people who complain about the food offered on the menu must not be accustomed to this type of cuisine. Maybe they were also expecting something like Chili's? Also, we were there on a Monday, so there wasn't a huge crowd and there wasn't much of a bar scene at the time, so maybe we were spoiled by the calm environment.

I'm a very harsh critic, I admit, but I've got to say, I couldn't find a single fault with Minx. The service was attentive (<3 to Xavier!) the atmosphere was lovely, even the music they were playing was just right. I'd happily go here again. Chef Joseph Antonishek has won my heart and my belly.

Last thing I ate or drank: I couldn't finish the chocolate pot de crème. ME. Not finishing dessert. Does that convey exactly how rich that thing was? Mmmmmmm!!!

Technorati Tags: Food and Drink in Los Angeles

Nights 1 & 2 of DineLA

2008-01-29T20:09:00.000-08:00

I wanted to give a couple of one paragraph reviews on where i've eaten
so far.

On the first night, Sunday, I went to NeoMeze in Pasadena and it was
AWESOME. The decor was modern but comfortable. (metrosexual bachelor's
apartment?) The pork tenderloin on the tasting menu was mind blowing.
each slice of the meat tasted like the meaty part of bacon. Also, i've
never had onion rings made from red onion: so sweet, i thought at
first bite that maybe it was apple! I had a really interesting rose by
the glass ($10 and worth it) Chateau Val Joanie or something like
that. I felt it didn't go with the quail, even tho the menu suggested
the pairing.

Last night, Monday, i went to Cobras & Matadors on Sunset. we bought a
bottle of cava next door, and it took us through all the plates, even
to the churros with chocolate dipping sauce for dessert. The standout
on the table there was the Game Hen. When i try to copy this dish, i
will use boneless chicken thighs, because getting the meat off that
critter was kind of a challenge. I'd heard such bad reviews of this
place, and was delighted that i'd decided to give it a go anyway.
also, ryan my server was as hot as the patatas with aioli. PS #1 don't
even bother trying to avoid Valet. #2 don't order all your choices at
once unless you want it all on the table within 5 mins of each other.
Hang on to the menu and keep it coming 2 at a time.

Tonight i'd intended to go to Violet, but i've been there several
times before (OMG i truly LOVE that place) and I think i have to spend
today eating lentils and brown rice so that i can pace myself for the
rest of DineLA.

Last thing I ate or drank: Diet Pepsi. it can't be champagne everytime...

Technorati Tags: Food and Drink in Los Angeles

Salad bar dangers!

2008-01-19T11:53:00.000-08:00

I think that salad bars are gross, in general, but if you do eat from one, avoid canned green beans and canned garbanzo beans for a while.

There's a recall for possible botulism poisoning!

Click here

Prescription dessert?

2008-01-19T11:04:00.000-08:00

The menu of a St Francis Bay chef, who apparently serves up a powerful drug against erectile dysfunction with a banana split, was shrouded in mystery when Die Burger newspaper tried to investigate.

One of the items on Big Time Taverna's dessert menu, between Greek baklava and ice-cream desserts is the so-called Viagra, but whether or not it's the real thing is not that easy to determine.

actually the guy said he used cialis. Who do you think is more upset?
1) viagra, because they're associated with this crackpot?
2) cialis, because their brand name wasn't in the headline?

Click here for the rest of the story.

Last thing I ate or drank: two Omega-3 rich hard boiled eggs with black salt and lavender pepper, with half of a toasted sesame bagel. and a double espresso. the other half was spread with pear butter. We did the math, it came to about 60¢ per person. Learn how to cook, people, you'll save a fortune.

Technorati Tags: Food and Drink in Los Angeles

It's been a LONG time since I ...

2007-10-07T05:57:00.000-07:00

It's been a LONG time since I gave a proper restaurant review on here, so i'm going to throw in a bit about the wine tasting we did, too.

Oh, BTW, let me interrupt myself:
      Hi Earl! :-* Smooch! :-* thanks for saying HI in the comments!

So Kelly and I celebrated our 13 year wedding anniversary on October 2nd. Yes, i was practically a 'child bride' by Los Angeles standards, but 23 is a perfectly acceptable age to get married in Chicago. About this time of year, after someone asks how long we've been married, I get to make the joke, "13 years, but 12 of them have been in Los Angeles, so that's like dog years." Ha Ha Ha.

Ok, anyway, the review. We've come to San Luis Obispo to do some wine tasting, restaurant dining and "antiquing" (basically thrift store shopping but the stuff is clean and works).

If you've never done a wine tasting, here's what's supposed to happen:

(i'm using the words winery, tasting room and vineyard somewhat interchangably here.)

You can buy a pass to get a chauffered tour, which will pick up several other potential winos at different hotels and B&Bs, and then takes you all to 4 or 5 wineries. The tasting fees are often included in the tour cost. At some point, there will be a stop for food (which might not be included, so bring some cash) You will automatically meet new people, as we did on the chauffered tour between wineries (and it got more fun as we got more buzzed!) but we were lucky in that the other couples were friendly and fun. YMMV. You'll be on a schedule, kind of, because there's probably another tour after you, and the driver and guide (might not be the same person) are working a job, not having fun, like you are. So while there's a built-in designated driver, you might feel rushed, as we did the time we did a limo-tour. At the end, everyone gets delivered back to their own hotel.

You can also drive to each of the wineries yourself. You'll have to scope out what vineyards seem interesting to you, map them, and figure out how to get there. You can bring a picnic lunch. You can take your time, and look around at everything as long as you want. If you're going for the experience, and not just to drink, drive yourself. Of course, one person's got to stay sober enough to drive.

I'm not getting into bike tours, but i hear that they can be fun.

Once you arrive at the tasting room, you belly up to the counter, and they let you know what they're going to pour. Most places present just one winery, but others have more than one, so you might be offered to choose one or the other or both. They take out a (usually) generically shaped glass, and pour the first wine for you.

They always pour lightest-to-heaviest, so they'll pour whites first, usually in this order: gewürtsraminer, riesling, sauvignon, chardonnay, rosé, pinot, zinfandel, cabernet, port. They will most likely not do all of these varietals, and may have different offerings, but that gives you the basic idea.

Now, a curious thing, to me, is that at each of the places we went to, there were people who refused half of the wines. One couple only wanted to taste reds. At the next place, one woman only wanted to taste whites. I can appreciate that maybe that's all you'd want to BUY... but why not give the others a taste? ME, i have to taste everything. And if you're with me, i want YOU to taste everything too! If i've met you more than once, and we're eating together, there will probably be a lot of passing forks back and forth. but i digress. as i do every post of more than 20 words. whatever.

ok, so they pour you your first white. You'll only get about an ounce or so in your glass. first you smell. then you swirl, then you smell. and then do it all again. If you're not used to smelling wines, sniff first, and THEN look a the tasting notes sheet, and then sniff again to see if you can find those flavors. You can go through the song and dance of rim variation, clarity, viscosity, and all that other stuff, but usually that's to learn about a wine that doesn't come with a tasting sheet. So just smell, and then taste. I usually taste at least 4 times. First a tiny sip, to get a first impression, and to acclimate my mouth to the wine. then a bigger sip, to reinforce that first impression, and let the acids and tannins get out of the way. Then an actual mouthful, which i drink kind of normally, but i hold it in my mouth a bit before swallowing, to get a feel for the alcohol levels (feels like pressure on your tongue) and to pick out some flavors. then finally, a last mouthful, to see what the finish is like, and to see how long it lasts in your mouth. Since i've been doing this a while, i've gotten better at picking out smells & tastes. it's fun. If i like the wine, i'll drink what's left in my glass. if not, i pour it into the dump bucket. Then you go on to the next wine... but don't feel like you have to rush!

OH, btw, nobody spits at these, not even the guys working there, who often take a sip or two along with you if you mention a scent or flavor that makes them raise their eyebrows. One day i want to learn how to spit in a perfect stream. Oh, such lofty aspirations! lol.

We went to Saucelito Canyon/Ortman Vineyards tasting room first...
•Saucelito Canyon
•Ortman Vineyards
...and tasted 6 7 wines ($5), with very little going into the dump bucket. They poured in the order mentioned above, intermingling the wines from both vineyards. Each of them presented a white that was spectacular. The reds were rich and interesting. We took home a bottle of a rich, red, gorgeous Zinfandel that had some lime undertones, that I want to see if i can make work with a meaty fish. The tasting room was small but cute, and the men behind the counter were friendly, charming and bantered with each other faux animosity. It was fun.

Oh, and the reason for the strikeout above: we got a special "bonus" pour of a newly released cabernet that the winery's rep was very proud of. As another aside, a LOT of people who are intimate with their wines are itching to share something new, or something they think is special, as a little bonus pour. with that in mind, take note, as they probably know what's worth mentioning, and also, be respectful, because saying it tastes like swamp water is not only rude, but insulting to their tastes.

Don't be afraid of asking questions,

Also don't think you have to like every wine offered. Like i said in the "do it yourself wine-tasting course", taste is subjective.

Ok, so on to the next winery. This was Claiborne & Churchill Theirs is the tasting room is made of bales of hay covered in stucco. It was so crowded, i considered suggesting that we try another place...6 pours for $5, you could see why...but soon enough we got our first pours. This winery specializes in dry gewürtztraminers and dry rieslings. We also tried a couple of their reds, which were very nice, but we finished with a port that was just superb. We purchased a bottle each of the gewürtztraminer and the port.

Another nice thing about doing a tasting is that they refund your tasting fee if you purchase a bottle. This might not be valid everywhere, but it did apply at both places we went. That's something you can take into account:
      pay for the tasting: $5
      got to a tasting, $5; buy a bottle, get $5 off.
so if there's something you like, when you look at the price, take $5 off per bottle, per person in your group. (In other words, if you are two people, and you buy two bottles, take $10 off the total.)

Each of these places had a cute little outdoor seating area where you could wait out your buzz if you didn't go with a group.

I'll write about dinner later... where there was even more wine!!!

Last thing I ate or drank: the above Crème Brûlée and the 6 grapes port.

Technorati Tags: Food and Drink in Los Angeles

A new strategy for efficiency.

2007-10-04T15:22:00.000-07:00

Do you procrastinate? I do. It's horrible. I can sit there and stare at something for a month and think, "I should really do that....." and that's where it ends.

I end up reading e-mail, sorting through my catering equipment, editing a podcast, testing a recipe, organizing my collection of pastry tips or some equally idiotic thing that keeps me doing what i should be doing.

Eventually, the important stuff gets done, and it does get done in time, but i fret about it from the time the thought is conceived until the damned thing is finished. (this blog is a GREAT way to procrastinate, although I'm not procrastinating right now, honest!)

So today, inadvertently, I've discovered a strategy to get stuff done.

I had a bunch of papers in the dining room, because that's the room the air conditioner is in, and I'd camped out to work there instead of my office during the heat wave. I decided that i should plow through some of those, and it didn't make sense to bring it back into my office to sort them until it was done. So i got started. I put on the radio (yes the RADIO, what archaic technology, ha ha) and settled in.

Once i had about 3 things that needed computer attention, i came into the office and paid a couple bills, sent off an invoice or two, and looked in my calendar... and then went back to the dining room.

After another 40 mins, I had another 3 or 4 things to do on the computer, so i went back to the office, sent and e-mail, looked up a phone number, paid another bill...and went back to work.

I realized that I'm doing that whole 45 mins on, 15 mins off time management thing. Which I've tried before, with the kitchen timer and such, but it never worked.

I think that the 'trick' here is that i can still hear the radio out there, barely, and it reminds me that i have more to do in the dining room.

So, I'm posting it here, so that you, my dear readers (all 3 of you) can use that, perhaps, to help to keep yourself on track and Getting Things Done.

Last thing I ate or drank: a really yummy combo of eggplant, onions and tomatoes that I made the other day for dinner, but Kelly decided he was craving pizza. Secretly happy that i got to save it for myself for lunch!

Technorati Tags: Food and Drink in Los Angeles

Comments? Anyone?

2007-10-03T10:59:00.001-07:00

Apparently, that comment link on the bottom of each blog post isn't just there for looks!

Last thing I ate or drank: Banana and Pear Smoothie with Apple juice and spirulina.

Technorati Tags: Food and Drink in Los Angeles

Mind your manners!

2007-09-21T13:32:00.000-07:00

Would this be a good conversation for my podcast?

I'm hosting a live, call-in talkshow podcast.

2007-09-06T14:14:00.000-07:00

Last thing I ate or drank: pineapple smoothie

Technorati Tags: Food and Drink in Los Angeles

Eat your heart out, Tay Zonday!

2007-09-04T14:20:00.000-07:00

Video production: Kelly Mohan
Music: Kevin MacLeod
"Talent" (ha ha) JoAnna Minneci

Last thing I ate or drank: iced coffee (yawn!)

Technorati Tags: Food and Drink in Los Angeles

Nice discount on OXO kitchen tools...

2007-09-03T09:54:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to pass along some info on a good deal. I love OXO stuff, It's always my tool-of-choice. And those tongs are great. (I also recommend their tongs with the plastic tips, so you can use them in non-stick pans but they're not included in this set.)

CLEARANCE
regularly: $39.99
our price: $22.69
save 43% ($17.30)

PLUS, if you spend another $3, you'll get free shipping.

Click here to go to drugstore.com

Last thing I ate or drank: cold, cold water. Not even 10am and it's 85ºF in the house. (cry)

Technorati Tags: Food and Drink in Los Angeles

Poor guy! I had no idea...

2007-08-31T20:09:00.000-07:00

But last month, doctors gave Mr. Achatz, 33 years old, devastating news. A cancerous tumor was growing inside his tongue. The disease was so advanced that three doctors told him the only way to cure it was to cut out part of his tongue, leaving one of the world's most celebrated chefs to ponder life without the ability to taste.

A Chef Faces His Worst Fears - WSJ.com

bacon mat 4 mike

2007-08-27T10:04:00.001-07:00

bacon mat 4 mike

Could there be anything more beautiful than an entire sheet of crispy bacon? Ideas for best utilization of this marvel of culinary technology:

1) after forming it, drape the mat over a bowl and baking it so that it formed a cup. (as i said in Kathie's post, "Take THAT, taco salad bowls made of deepfried tortillas!")

2) Set a beautiful, perfectly poached egg on top. I think poached eggs are more attracive on a plate than fried eggs, but i guess you could use a fried egg.

3) Bacon sticks together well during cooking, so I'm pretty sure that it would stay together enough to form the base of a canapé.

4) Paint the BaconMat™ with beaten egg yolk so that the design cooks in a different color. (this was baked, btw)

5) You could ''brand'' the BaconMat™ with initials and use them as edible placecards.

What else? Any suggestions?

HUH?!!?

2007-08-24T15:58:00.000-07:00

I have no idea why my name is included in this blog:

LA Lunchbox kitchen wisdom restaurant reviews: "By the time Felix connected with Netty of Netty’s in the Spring of 2006, there were already multiple offers for the business; Sara Levine, Joanna Minneci and Tender Greens, among others, all wanted the chance to reinvent the visible Silver Lake corner."

I've never looked for a restaurant space in silverlake... so, um, HUH? .I was on the original BLOGEBRITY list, i have to post this to claim my link. If you're reading this, just ignore it. kthxbai

lazy

2007-08-23T19:47:00.000-07:00

I made myself a salad before i went to go cater a dinner-for-two this evening. I didn't have time to eat it while i was cooking, so when i left, i decided to just jump in the car and get out of their neighborhood and eat it.

So here i am, in my car, ~~stealing~~ borrowing someone's bandwidth, and i just thought to myself "i wish had some salad dressing..."

then i realized that i have all the ingredients for it in the car right now, but i'm not going to bust out and whip up some salad dressing on the tailgate of my Element.

Last thing I ate or drank: undressed salad

Technorati Tags: Food and Drink in Los Angeles

Ashwin’s blog

2007-08-17T12:11:00.000-07:00

Over at Ashwin’s blog, you will find one crazy blog owner!! You can win $2500!! To enter just copy this text and paste it in your blog!! But hurry, this competition will not last long! So get posting!

Original post: http://www.ashwinkhanna.com/archives/19

Because, hey, why not!?

los angeles food/beverage/hospitality jobs classifieds - craigslist

2007-07-31T17:58:00.000-07:00

Oh

MY

word.

Here's me trying to NOT be viciously catty and spew a bazillion curse words at the screen. A friend send this CraigsList ad to me, saying sarcastically, "OOH! THE PERFECT JOB! (ROFLMAO)".

HIP WESTSIDE CAFE LOOKING FOR "CHEF"

_____ is looking for someone for a manager-type position to include creating new food ideas.

40-hour per week salaried position
looking for a creative "foody" personality
overseeing staff of 10-15 people
organization a must!

We're limited in space so we only have small appliances. If you think you can be creative with them, then this is the job for you!

A Degree in related field a plus!
Cafe experience a plus!

$30,000 annual gross salary
2 weeks paid vacation/sick time

So, okay. Let's approach this piece by piece, starting at the end and work our way back up, shall we?

This is a full-time job, no mention of benefits except for 10 days paid-time-off, and the employee would get paid only $14.42 an hour gross pay. That's before taxes come out. And heaven forbid the employee should need to go to a dentist or something.

Oh, and you want a degree! Do you know, my charming recruiter, what even an associates degree costs to achieve? Phooey.

Now, i get that you're trying to convey that it's a limited space, but i think that what you MEAN is that you don't have an exhaust hood, so that means you only have a panini press, a microwave, maybe a soup warmer, and other little tabletop cooking apparatus. This isn't that big of a deal, but you need only a sandwich-maker for that. Soup/Sandwich/Salad menu. That does not require the talents of a trained, degreed professional.

So, for this lousy under-$15-per-hour job, the employee is also supposed to manage as many as 15 employees? If these are the same pool of people i have to recruit from, and I'm paying at least $15/hr, you're in Big Trouble.

Even if I could afford to live in Los Angeles on only $30k/yr for a FULL TIME JOB, (that's gross, not net, mind you!) I still don't see how this job could be appealing in the very least. Having to schedule and manage up to 15 potential flakes and still be responsible for developing and creating a new menu is not worth $15 an hour.

Come work for me instead. The worst that could happen is that you might have to clean the stove or take out trash after an event.

[Jott to Self] Ho foods is at the exit before Woodman(?...

2007-07-28T14:54:00.000-07:00

Jott To Self

Ho foods is at the exit before Woodman(?) on 405.

Listen to Audio

Set reminders, assign, and manage this jott on Jott.com

Brought to you by Jott Networks, Inc.

Spatula-Wielding Cook Fights Off Robbers

2007-07-24T22:38:00.000-07:00

Spatula-Wielding Cook Fights Off Robbers" Yeah, that would be me. LOL!!

Recruiting for catering staff on CraigsList

2007-07-18T10:58:00.000-07:00

I've been recruiting additional workers for the larger of the catered events that I do. When i say 'larger', that could be misleading...I'm talking 8 to 30 people. Under 8, I can manage myself... but more than that, i need help. The trouble with these small events is that they're too big to do alone, but i don't do enough of them to keep any size staff employed for more than 2-3 days a month.

Usually that works out fine. If i have 50 people on the list of potential workers, and only 4 people tell me that they're available, i'm totally set. The kitchen work is intense, but we kitchen people are freaks and get off on the rush. The servers pretty much have to push food around and be pleasant while doing it. That shouldn't be a challenge.

I'm pretty sure i've posted this before, but SHEEEEEEESH, people, if you're gonna send a photo, i don't need your entire underwear model portfolio, i don't want to look at your pouty, unshaven, pretending-i'm-a-cowboy pictures, and last time i checked i don't serve the Nyataimori "naked-girl-as-sushi-buffet", so yeah, wearing some clothes in your photo wouldn't be a bad thing. Also please don't send a photo of you that might look like the mugshot of a serial killer. This effect can often be avoided by, oh, i dunno, smiling in the photo? And if you're going to bother sending a photo, make it one where your face appears larger than a quarter. And is vaguely in focus.

Resumes are another bucket o' fun, and scheduling people for "Face-to-Face" interviews are a gut-busting riot... but i just had to get the photo rant out of the way.

Speed up dinner preparation - a few of my tips

2007-07-16T13:28:00.000-07:00

Lifehacker posted an article from Real Simple, and readers also posted their comments & suggestions on how to speed up dinner preparation. Here are a few of my tips.

Plan what you're cooking in advance Let's say if you're going to make stir-fry, and the rice takes 20 minutes to cook, you can start the rice first, and while it's simmering, chop the veggies and make the sauce. If you leave the rice to the last minute, you'll have the stir fry ready, but have nothing to serve it over. Then you wind up waiting around for the rice to cook while the veggies get cold and then you have to heat the veggies again, wasting more time.
chop chop chop If you're cutting stuff up, cut up twice as much. This may sound like a contradiction, but since you've already got the cutting board, peeler and knife out, chopping an extra couple of veggies saves you from doing that mise en place a second time, and now you only have to wash the cutting board once. This works best for veggies like carrots, celery, onion, peppers, zucchini, mushrooms, asparagus, broccoli, snap peas, cabbage, cauliflower, squash & green beans.
A few things will suffer from advance prep. In general, don't prep things that shouldn't be refrigerated or bruise easily. 1 tomatoes, which, if they're properly ripened, turn to mush once cut. Also, if you refrigerate your tomatoes and i find out about it, i'm coming after you. 2 Potatoes oxidize, but keeping them submerged in water to prevent browning changes the quality of both texture and flavor. Also, refrigeration turns the starches into sugars. Also not desirable. 3 Basil is so fragile that it starts to go bad as soon as it's cut. It's something that should be done as last minute as possible. 4 Garlic gets its pungent garlickyness when the different substances in the garlic combine. the more you crush it, the more intense the flavor... but it also dissipates quickly. It's another 'last minute' thing. Add it to recipes twice: once at the beginning of cooking, and again, just before the end of cooking. Another garlic tip: If you chop/crush garlic and give it a 10 minute rest before using it, you get the most health benefits from it.
Use recipes as shopping lists. Let's say that you've decided on the 3 things you're going to cook this week (double batches of course, so that you can eat the extra servings for lunch or freeze the leftovers) Find the recipes, whether online or from your cookbooks or your mom's old recipe cards. Then, go on an in-home shopping spree. Do you have the cornstarch you need for the stir-fry? How about the soy sauce? Did you use the last of the breadcrumbs? Do you have enough olive oil? Do you even have dry mustard? You can avoid buying stuff you already have, and be sure you will buy what you don't have. Seems simple, but it's SO easy forget if you have something, and it's much easier to avoid the time-sucking roadblock of missing ingredients.
Know which corners are worth cutting. Buying canned beans saves you LOTS of time over soaking & boiling dry beans, and without losing much quality. Frozen, pre-chopped broccoli is GREAT. Frozen, pre-chopped carrots are AWFUL. 3-minute microwaved idaho potatoes or sweet potatoes are nearly as good as 45-minute baked ones. Microwaved corn on the cob is almost as delicious as boiled, but frozen corn on the cob is horrific...even though bagged frozen corn kernels are quite nice, and much better than canned.
Time is money, even in your own kitchen. Yeah, you can save a few cents by buying a brick of cheese instead of the pre-shredded stuff in the bag. BUT - You're not saving money if you throw out half a brick of dried-out or moldy cheese. Keep that pre-shredded bag in the freezer and it will last forever. Smack it on the counter a few times before opening it, sprinkle out what you need, then chuck it back in the freezer. Another example: If chopped bagged lettuce is more likely to be eaten than full heads of romaine and iceberg (which need to be carefully washed) then pay the premium for the bagged stuff.
Clean up time counts, too. It takes a lot longer to take apart and clean the food processor than it does to wash a knife. If you can't put something in the dishwasher, and must instead wash it by hand, are you factoring that into your cooking time as well? In my case, for example, i'd rather use 3 small cutting boards than one big one, because i can fit all the little ones in the dishwasher. Will you destroy what you're making if you stir the pasta with the same spoon as you're using to stir the sauce? Can you throw a few broccoli florets into the water that the carrots have been cooking in? Do you REALLY need to use a steamer basket, EVER? Try to use as few cooking & serving things as possible, short of eating from the same pot you cooked in. (I'm guilty of that one...)

So, my dear readers, got any other tips?

my eBay addiction

2007-07-09T20:42:00.000-07:00

Chef JoAnna: i've got a problem with ebay. i'm obsessed with getting parts for my Oster Kitchen Center. it's out of control...
Friend: LOL
Chef JoAnna: it's just like gambling.
Friend: Hahaha
Chef JoAnna: the thing works like a champ, but the parts are old and you can't just order a replacement from Oster.
Friend: OK, am I gonna have to hose you off?
Chef JoAnna: It's m'oster'bation!

Last thing I ate or drank: iced coffee. Refer to twitter posts. LOL!

Technorati Tags: Food and Drink in Los Angeles

Review: Jancis Robinson's Wine Course

2007-06-28T10:25:00.000-07:00

Netflix: Jancis Robinson's Wine Course

Just watched this 2-disc DVD, and it was very interesting and quite entertaining. It's slightly out of date (pre-sideways, it raves about merlot!) I confess that Jancis grated on my nerves for the first episode, but by the end, I would happily sit down to a glass of wine or twelve with her!

...and I'm lusting after a French Sauvignon Blanc called Asteroïde. At over $1000 a bottle, I don't think it's going to be a satisfied lust, but hey, if all my dreams were attainable, what would I have to look forward to? Not to mention, I'd happily sit down with it's maker, Didier Daguenau. 20 minutes with a pair of scissors (and maybe a nice shirt? //giggle//) and he'd be teh hotness. How could you not want to spend time with someone who thinks like this:

"I make wine to give people pleasure. I sell happiness. It's a good job to be in. I want my wine to be a good moment in people's lives. It's like good food, beautiful music, a beautiful painting. I think that wine should be considered as art in the same way as painting or music. Unfortunately there are not many who think like that. Often they've inherited their vineyard. It's not a trade they have chosen, or if they have chosen it, it's because they think they can make a lot of money. In my opinion, 80% of growers are thick. Of the 20% that are left are the people that work because they to achieve something good... something well made to please people. Often these people are loners because they upset others because they do something different. But they are the ones that are close to the truth."
Oh yeah, and he says this all in French....swoon...

People wax poetic about his methods, technique and the intensity of this wine. Not bad for a wine varietal that most people associate with cat pee.

i can has cheezburger!

2007-06-26T19:01:00.000-07:00

YAY! Chef sez i can has cheezburger! KTHXchefjoannaBAI!

IM in UR dux, eatin' teh liverz!

IM in UR kitchenz, makin' UR foodz!

...And there are other styles added to my CafePress store, too. Got any other lolcats-style ideas I should make into a t-shirt?

tap tap tap...

2007-06-24T23:30:00.001-07:00

Is this thing on?

Last thing I ate or drank: Water with a splash of anisette.

Technorati Tags: Food and Drink in Los Angeles

Cooking Podcasts, by Chef JoAnna

2007-06-22T20:20:00.000-07:00

So, i've mentioned once or twice that i have been doing what i call "culinary tech support" for a company called ChefsLine.

Well, part of my job with ChefsLine is to do podcasts on subjects that people ask about. Here are a few of my recent podcasts:

I just recorded another one about crêpes, and the lovely and talented Jenn will be editing that beastie into something coherent very soon. Once she's finished, I'll post that link, too.

If you have any questions you need answered, feel free to post them to the ChefsLine blog: http://ChefsLine.com/blog

<shameless promotion> I'm also available for one-on-one cooking classes through ChefsLine, too. </shameless promotion>

Last thing I ate or drank: Pizza from Dino's. It's a tradition to get pizza the night before I cater a party, and Dino's in Burbank is really really good. Like, good enough to make me want to cater more often. ha ha

Technorati Tags: Food and Drink in Los Angeles

Quick romance, tucked in a picnic basket

2007-06-16T17:04:00.000-07:00

Over at lifehacker.com they are talking about Picnic Essentials.

I keep a picnic basket for two filled with a bunch of basic non-food things in the car. The weather's nice, so I like to picnic with Kelly at a park a couple blocks away from his work. It's an ongoing thing on Thursdays. Sometimes I bring home-made food, sometimes i pick up carry-out on the way over. Either way, it's a nice break in the day for both of us.

I even took a photo of the contents, just now, since I was putting the stuff back in from Thursday's picnic.
clickity! Here's what's in it: You can get all of these at a resale shop, and it can all be tossed in the dishwasher when you get home.

1) two cheap but sturdy wine glasses
2) one can opener/bottle opener thingy
3) one corkscrew
4) two each forks/knives/spoons (stainless)
5) a handful of paper napkins (it's bad enough i'm gonna do dishes, but i'll be damned if i'm gonna do laundry too.)
6) One Good Sharp Knife (make a cardboard holster if you need to)
7) Two melamine plates (lighter than china!)
8) a cutting board, or a third melamine plate *also good as serving dish, etc.)
9) a few white-plastic-grocery bags, Good for sitting on, collecting trash, then wrapping dirty dishes so you don't have a leaky picnic basket
10) the picnic basket itself!
11) a few babywipes or wetnaps, if you feel like your hands would be dirty.
Bonus: cheapo disposable vinyl tablecloth, if you've got the heebie-jeebies about cooties.

Even if you bought it all new at the dollar store, you'd spend about $10. (except for the basket) I also like these Sterlite containers, because they've got handles! Make sure the one you get isn't too small for a normal sized plate.

I've also been known to do a grocery-store picnic, where i'll buy almonds, cheese, veggies, dip, fruit, crackers, bread and something lunch-ish from the deli. A bottle of wine and a bottle of water, and you're good to go. If you'd consider doing this too, consider stashing a vegetable peeler in your kit.

It's really cool to be able to have a spontaneous picnic... and now you'll be ready!

Last thing I ate or drank: lime fla-vor-ice. I'm 6 years old sometimes, what can i say?

Technorati Tags: Food and Drink in Los Angeles

Freezer Flush is BACKFIRING!

2007-06-15T16:31:00.000-07:00

So last night i made the sweet & sour stir fry with pork, and that's what we had for dinner. i also baked two pans of cornbread and a giant crockpot of chili. I sent Kelly to work with a container, and i had some for lunch, too. I also cooked the chicken for the cordon bleu pasta.

The goal of this project is that i'm trying to clean out my cabinets and cupboards, and empty the fridge. As i cook chili for example, i'm adding canned tomatoes and cans of kidney beans... so when it all gets done, it gets frozen. When i make the cornbread, that gets wrapped and frozen. when I make the rice for the sweet & sour pork, that gets topped with the veggies and then gets frozen too. So i'm basically re-combining things and putting them in the freezer. So calling this operation freezer flush is quite a misnomer... but i'm using stuff that's taking up space and making edible-in-5-minutes food.

Tonight, I'll be makeing a test recipe of the cordon bleu pasta sauce, to see how it works when using powdered milk. I've also marinated boneless, skinless chicken leg/thigh pieces in sherry, soy sauce, honey, sesame oil and white pepper. That's going to get cooked with celery and cashews for the cashew chicken. I'll serve that over white rice, just for the change of pace.

I can't make more stuff until i see whether i have enough space to freeze it, so the korma and the chhole will have to wait until Monday, i think.

Amazingly, I've been good at keeping up with the dishes i use, because i'm just cleaning one or two big things, instead of a dozen little ones. This project has all kinds of benefits!

Last thing I ate or drank: a blue fla-vor-ice. now i have an attractive blue tongue.

Technorati Tags: Food and Drink in Los Angeles

Operation Freezer Flush

2007-06-14T12:01:00.000-07:00

OK, so day one wasn't a challenge at all. I had defrosted a package of ground meat (i buy the big packages on sale and re-package in ziploc baggies) so with half of that, i made us each a hamburger served on a bakery roll, also from the freezer, and we ate that with trader joe's salt & pepper potato chips. They're ok, not as good as the kettle brand, but they were $2 a bag instead of $3.50, so i thought it was worth a try.
I took the other half of the seasoned burger mix and made little meatballs, cooking them in the cast iron pan while it was still hot from dinner. They'll go into a soup of some kind later this week. I think.

Also, today was the day i'd designated to make "The Lunches". See, i make a whole bunch of lunches for Kelly to take to work. I take one or two days every six weeks or so and make a large batch of five or six different entrées. I package those up in plastic containers and fill up the freezer, so Kelly can just grab one in the morning before he leaves for work. If he's clever, he takes one & puts it in the fridge the night before so it takes a little less time to defrost. Usually he forgets.

For a few days before the day of cooking orgy, I ~~nag~~ ask him to think of what he'd like to eat. He's either totally clueless, or absolutely definitive and knows exactly what he wants. The former is 99% of the time, and the latter 1% remaining is usually something that doesn't freeze well or is out of season. He tries tho.

Here is what we came up with, with much coaxing from me:

Chicken Cordon Bleu Pasta This is a combo of grilled chicken and seared ham over rotini pasta with mornay.
Chhole an Indian dish of chick-peas and onions in a tomato sauce
sweet & sour pork over brown rice I do it 'naked style' meaning i just stir-fry the pork instead of breading and deep-frying it. The sauce & veggies are the same.
Chili & Cornbread He likes the chili i make with beans, that's bulked up with bulgur... and i just use the standard corn bread recipe from the box.
Korma Jasmine rice, dried fruits, nuts, whatever.
cashew chicken He has eaten this three times in the past two weeks, and he saw i had cashews so he asked for it again.

Now, the tricky thing is that we came up with this menu LATE LAST WEEK. Before i opened my big mouth and banned grocery shopping. So, yeah. I have taken the chicken, pork & beef out of the freezer to thaw. I'm a little light on veggies, but i bet I can make it work with what's in the freezer or in cans, but i don't have fresh milk or swiss cheese for the mornay sauce. I have powdered milk i use for baking, and there's some kind of cheese in the fridge. I think. Fact is, typing up this post is a lame attempt at procrastinating the cooking.

Actually, that's not entirely true. It's 90ºf here today, but it's breezy. I don't want to heat up the house, so i took the toaster oven outside and i'm roasting the chicken. I also took the rice cooker out there, and have a big batch of brown rice going. Later, I'll haul out the electric burners and the crockpot and whatever else i need to do to get stage one in motion. I <3 my appliances!

I think i mentioned before that the night of the Challenge was the night i finished my baking. I bake for breakfasts. I had enough bananas in the freezer to make three batches of banana bread. I had also made those 30 or so scones. So those are all in the freezer, wrapped in portions and stashed away to be taken out a couple at a time. I'm not sure if i can get those to last two months, but there are also bagels, English muffins and sliced bread.

See what i mean? I always joke that if the grid ever goes down, like in an earthquake, I'd open a neighborhood restaurant. Propane, butane, canned fuel... i've got it covered... but i never realized how much food I'd have at my disposal, too.

Well, i've gotta go get some lunch for myself, I've had a pear/ginger scone, half a peach, a plum and an apricot. Then, before i sat down to type this, i had a little slice of banana bread. That did more to pique my appetite than suppress it.

I'll post about tonight tomorrow. I think that's gonna be the best way to chronicle this, because as this progresses, i'm going to have to stretch my imagination a bit.

Last thing I ate or drank: slice of the banana bread mentioned above :-)

Technorati Tags: Food and Drink in Los Angeles

Challenge: No grocery shopping for a month.

2007-06-13T13:00:00.000-07:00

My husband Kelly and I went to the grocery store last night. Everything we bought was fresh produce, some cotija cheese, and a box of 'bacon ends'

tangent (Tangent? You've only said one line of blog, how do you tangent already?) I don't use bacon as a breakfast-meat side-dish, I mostly cook with it as a flavor/fat ingredient (lardons, bacon bits) I buy a box of Farmer John bacon 'ends' at $1.25/lb. I package it up into smaller portions with plastic wrap, and toss those portions into a big ziploc, and take out a baconcicle when i need one. so,for that, bacon 'ends' are a way better value than the standard sliced bacon at over $4/lb.We went up and down every asile in the store, just looking around, making fun of people's photos on the packaging, looking at the horrid food photography, checking out the aisle with the holy candles and incense and Good-Luck-Spray for that santaría stuff. This was in a store called Vallarta that caters to a Spanish-speaking clientele. They've got GREAT produce for really cheap. It's the main draw of that store, but they have lots of other cool things too. Do we need bread? no. Do we need cereal? no. Do we need pasta? no. Do we need peanut butter? Mayonnaise? Beans? Sugar? Rice? No, no, no, no and no.

THEN somebody gets the bright idea of telling her husband, "We don't need any of this stuff. I bet I could feed us for two months with what i've already got in the house.oopsSo he challenged me to actually make it a bet. No grocery shopping for two months.

I mean, I'm not so old that i grew up in a depression... And growing up, we weren't wealthy but we always had enough to eat... so why are my cupboards and freezers bursting with food? Maybe it's just a reflection of my obsession, and of how much i like to cook. For me, it's so easy to be able to whip up a dinner with what i've got on hand, because i've got everything on hand!

It's just the two of us, and we've got a fridge, a chest freezer, a large pantry, another narrow cabinet, and an old dresser that's used just for dry goods storage. I've got meat, eggs, veggies, onions, potatoes, all kinds of grains, all kinds of oils/vinegars/condiments, pasta, and lots of beans. And that's not counting the stuff in cans and jars. Of course, i've also got a lot of esoteric stuff like rice paper, nori, masa, dried shrimp, teff flour... and now i've got 3 lbs of bacon!

So there's the challenge. It's not about saving money, because that money's already spent. Not to mention I'm already cooking Kelly's lunches and freezing them so he can take them to work. It's not about nutrition, since we don't go out to eat often and what we eat at home is actually pretty healthy. I think it's just a way for me to force a little creativity on myself, and plow through some of the stuff already in the house.

I'll be using up the fresh stuff i have first, then raiding the freezer, and finally using up the canned/jarred things, while interspersing the bulk stuff. He said that I could have a $20 allowance after the first month to replace the most basic of veggies and because by then, we'll both be dying for a salad.

I'm not sure what will come of it, but i'll post what's going on from time to time.

Wish me luck!

Last thing I ate or drank: buttered toasted onion bagel and a 1L bottle of Arrowhead water

Technorati Tags: Food and Drink in Los Angeles

Chef to the Undead

2007-06-06T23:03:00.001-07:00

Chef to the Undead

I requested this zombie art from
http://www.monsterbymail.com Custom made art, drawn by hand, for a pittance.

My very own zombie! Seriously the coolest thing ever.

So....what does the Chef to the Undead serve?

Appetizer: Brainschetta
Salad:Heirloom Brains with Neuron Vinaigrette
Soup: Cream of Brains
Fish: Brains Amandine
Intermezzo: Brains Sorbet
Entrée: Cerebellum with Occipital sauce
served with Brain Soufflé and Sordid Baby Vegetables (ha!)
Dessert: Blood Poached Brains à la mode, Dulce de Cerebro Ice Cream
Mignardises: Ginger Synapse and Chocolate Covered Brainsins

can't wait for Halloween.

What it's like when a party goes well:

2007-06-05T00:35:00.000-07:00

Jott From Chef JoAnna

I just finished catering a party for 15 people. Oh, my God I am so exhausted but everything went well and the client asked for a lot of business cards. And, even though I am really tired, I am really happy that the client was happy, and that he pulled off his surprise, too!

Three words: Chicken. Fried. Bacon.

2007-05-30T07:06:00.001-07:00

Thought you'd like to check out the video Chicken Fried Bacon.

Watch Now
http://www.brightcove.com/title.jsp?title=932487178

rat•a•too•ee June 29th! I can't wait!

2007-05-20T20:05:00.000-07:00

I'm looking forward to all the inside jokes. Pixar's so good with that stuff!

Flickr Photos - finally posted!

2007-05-17T03:26:00.000-07:00

easiest thing to do, probably, is just go to flickr:

Click here

Scam Update!

2007-05-10T23:51:00.000-07:00

I'm so glad to discover that the e-mail i sent to every culinary person i know is getting the word out about this check-cashing scam!

Click here

Click here

Anyone know of any others?

and... who knew that there was an entire directory of this stuff? Click here to research other scams like this: http://www.crimes-of-persuasion.com/

Whoops! I left a blog in the draft!

2007-05-10T17:55:00.000-07:00

I reviewed "Educating Peter" by Lettie Teague but I left it in the drafts section of my blog. So please click & check it out!

Last thing I ate or drank: thai iced tea with rice milk... which by the way, it curdles! It tastes better with sweetened condensed milk, so although rice milk and splenda are a perversion, it's satisfying the craving.

Technorati Tags: Food and Drink in Los Angeles

Yay meat!

2007-05-10T14:06:00.000-07:00

Heavy Eaters Against The Enemies of Meat™

* Do you think 'vegan' is an alien race from a sci-fi movie?
* Would you prefer a baloney sandwich to a nature burger?
* Do you love steak, poultry, pork or other meats?
* Are you sick of being vilified for your own private eating habits?
* Do you believe in the freedom to choose what we eat?
* Do you feel that a meatless meal is not really a meal at all?
* Do you believe that humans are at the top of the food chain?

OMG this website is so funny! and
they've got T-Shirts! It's making me hungry!

Book Review: Simmer Down (A Gourmet Girl Mystery)

2007-05-07T10:03:00.000-07:00

I haven't been served any subpoenas, nor been contacted by anyone's lawyers, nor has anybody tested the ferocity of my two overprotective pitbulls, so mister preacher man is still at bay. ...and hey, who wants to ƒµ¢k with a chef, really? We have big knives, and we know how to skin things with excruciating precision. My sex-tech expert friend, Regina Lynn knows all about pervertibles, but just imagine what you could do, torture-wise, with a full battery of kitchen implements? Knives aside, there's the Crème Brûlée torch, trussing needles, rolling pins, and a whack on the noggin from a cast iron pan wouldn't do you no good...

And if you are a chef inclined to murder, there are plenty of places to hide the body! I mean, we actually have freezers that big.

Anyway, this is the second culinary murder mystery I've ever read. The first one, Death by Rhubarb written by Lou Jane Temple, I got from a resale shop for 50¢. The link goes to the amazon page, where there are both flattering and unflattering reviews. My review would be included in the latter, but it's not necesary for me to be harsh.

This was written by a mother-daughter team, Jessica Conant-Park and Susan Conant. I was also promised a copy of their first book, Steamed, but i haven't received it yet.

Let's just say my expectations for a culinary murder mystery were pretty low, after having had the rhubarb book as my introduction.

I was pleasantly surprised when I started reading Simmer Down In fact, my sights were set so low that i cracked the book in the middle, which i never do, to see if there was any substance in it before i invested a whole lot of time in it. The page I turned to let me see that this was put together by someone who knew a kitchen, so I gave it a shot, and started from the beginning. The female lead, Chloe, comes off as kind of a spoiled brat, whining about a lot of mundane stuff, and although she tries to improve, she goes about it so begrudgingly it is uncomfortable. Partly because it's very clear that Chloe is an incarnation of the daughter half of the team. (red hair, social work, etc.)

The food detail, though, and the cooking stuff: very good. If you've ever worked in a pro kitchen, the nuances of an expert's voice comes through in the writing. it actually made me a little 'homesick' for working in a cramped kitchen, filled with people wearing their whites, speaking lots of Spanish and nibbling on the bits and scraps of stuff that can't be served, like the remnants on a sheet pan when circular portions have been cut out if it.

ok, ok, sorry, got a little dreamy-eyed there; back to the review.

I don't think i'd get along with chloe, but i'd love to work with josh. The writing about his intensity in the kitchen really comes across. I kind of imagine him to act like the guy who won the first top chef. The tall dark and handsome one, kind of brooding and quiet, but very focused on his work.

So I'm giving it four stars, out of five. All the cooking and food-related stuff was spot-on. The relationships between the characters came off as kind of dodgy. Maybe an extra make-out scene or two would be nice, too.

and HEY, btw, don't read the amazon reviews by the pro reviewers. they practically tell the story in their review, and as you can imagine, it rather spoils a murder mystery!

Last thing I ate or drank: licorice jellybeans

Technorati Tags: Food and Drink in Los Angeles

a fine line between dedication and obsession

2007-05-06T23:20:00.000-07:00

This guy may very well be teetering on the threshold, but BOY HOWDY would I like to discover what maniacal obsession tastes like when the results look as good as this:
a chiffonade of fresh basil on top and I could be pwned by this pizza. SO much pizza in Los Angeles is crap. I make a pretty good pizza here at home, although it's inauthentic as far as neapolitan is concerned. I'm more partial to Chicago-style pizza. I make my own dough and my own sauce, but not my own mozz, but if I could get my hands on some rennet, I'd probably try. (I make my own butter out of heavy cream if I can't use it up before it would go bad.) When we spend the whole day out, or if Kelly has a hankerin' for pizza on a Friday night, we found Dino's in Burbank, and they do quite well. Best I've found in the area. If you know better, tell me!

I still have to write about my horrific dinner at ¢ele$tino from Saturday night. I am still trying to put some distance between it and myself, though, so that might have to wait.

AND...I've got a couple of book reviews coming up... BOTH were totally rave-worthy, and I want to make sure I can blog about them both in detail.

This is AMAZING! more cool cakes

2007-05-06T11:46:00.000-07:00

Keep in mind, this was made by a mom, for her daughter, as a wedding cake!

Discworld Cake

nevermind that she's a professional... it's still pretty amazingly cool!

I wanna play with buttercream and marzipan, now too!

you won't believe these photos...

2007-05-05T09:04:00.000-07:00

Completely edible artistic sculptural cakes!

The next time someone tells me, "you've got too much time on your hands" when I do something I consider fun or whatever, I'll show them this.

day-um, these are some amazing cakes!

Fast Food: Ads vs. Reality

2007-05-05T08:24:00.000-07:00

Fast food looks like crap. Everyone knows what you see in the photos never looks like what you get on the plate, right?

Fast Food: Ads vs. Reality

Hell, even Denny's, which is famous for it's photo menu, serves food that looks like it's been tossed around the kitchen for a while before they put it on a plate.

What if fast food workers were given food styling lessons?

[Jott from Chef JoAnna] So, I saw a dead deer on the side of road, and the first thing I thought was, "V...

2007-05-04T15:05:00.000-07:00

Jott From Chef JoAnna

So, I saw a dead deer on the side of road, and the first thing I thought was, "Venison?"

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Shame on you, Bishop Ben Okafor!

2007-05-02T01:17:00.000-07:00

Book Review: "Educating Peter" by Lettie Teague

2007-05-01T23:31:00.000-07:00

The full title of this book is Educating Peter: How I Taught a Famous Movie Critic the Difference Between Cabernet and Merlot or How Anybody Can Become an (Almost) Instant Wine Expert

I will cheat, just a teensy bit, by posting an excerpt from the amazon page:

Lettie Teague knows wine. She has been the wine editor at Food & Wine magazine for almost a decade. After many years of fielding these questions, Lettie was determined to debunk the myth that learning about wine is hard. She decided to find just one wine idiot and teach him a few fundamentals -- how to order off a restaurant wine list without fear, approach a wine merchant with confidence, and perhaps even score a few points off a wine snob.

If you're so inclined, you can also listen to the Splendid Table interview, which you can find here OK, now that you know the gist, I will offer my opinion, which is why Ms. Teague's people graciously sent me this book: to review it and post it on this blog.

I loved this book. I read it through voraciously, sometimes up to two hours at a sitting while I waited for the rest of the world (well, my world) to wake up. Big pot of hazelnut coffee, spa-type waffle robe, flip-flops, and this book, outside on my back patio. I felt as though I should have been taking notes. As I read it again, I plan to have a pen and paper handy. (and dammit, I have a no-renew-because-there's-a-waiting-list book checked out.)

The book is fun, although as a read a passage out loud to my friend, he said, "it sounds like someone ran it through a thesaurus and replaced all the normal words with longer words, so it sounds more impressive," which is kind of accurate, (I don't think the average reader should have to pull out a dictionary (or dictionary.com) to comprehend a book like this, but beyond that i thought it was a fun read.

Anyway, yeah, it's a keeper, and very well worth the price of admission, if you consider that you'll have learned several tricks to avoid bad wine that you'd otherwise pour down the sink. And it's also good to have a few good wine-drinking terms up your sleeve for tossing around at dinner!

My only comment would be that I'd have liked to see her talk about how to actually drink wine before the very last chapter. It sounds as though she let that poor Peter go around like a dolt until he got to the restaurants.

Last thing I ate or drank:

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Bishop Ben Okafor: Man of god, husband and father of two writes back...

2007-04-29T15:50:00.000-07:00

I'm thrilled to pieces that this Ben Okafor from Benin thing has actually gotten interesting... the other scams I've received and posted here on my blog didn't get much play, but I've never had a scammer write me back and threaten me!

He sent me an instant message:

Yup, exactly the kind of response I'd anticipate from someone who represents the word of god. Whatever.

But THEN I got two other messages from other chefs who contacted me.

...and as I told this last chef, no, I'm NOT already defending myself against legal action. With this schmuck or any other kind. I sent an e-mail to the actual KLM in Canada, so someone MIGHT be contacting him about some legal action, but me, I'm content if I helped prevent these two other chefs, and any others, from getting scammed.

He's SOOOOOO pissed off that I've ruined his little scheme! I love it!

Anyone else been contacted by the kindly Bishop? Please speak up, either in the comments, or write to me directly.

Technorati Tags: Bishop Ben Okafor and kufwilis in kingdom Life Ministries Int'l 299 88 75 72

OMG what an exciting opportunity! (gimme a break)

2007-04-28T16:00:00.000-07:00

I think someone's going to fall for this eventually... but it's not gonna be me. (this was copy/pasted verbatim from the e-mail I received.)

Hello,

I saw your add online, and I got facinated at your profile. I am Bishop Ben Okafor from Porto-Novo, in The Republic of Benin. I am the General Overseer of the Kingdom Life Ministries International. I will be coming over to California, USA, on a missionary visit from the 30th of June to the 7th of July 2007. I will be coming in the company of my wife, daughter and son of ages 5 and 9 respectively.

Actually, we will be requiring the service of a Cook/Chef during our stay, in the USA. Ofcourse we are used to eating home cooked meal. So we thought its necessary to make arrangement to hire some one to take up the job for those periods of time. However we would like to be flexible in the contractual agreement. You are also welcome to live-in during the period of the contract.

We can pay in advance to cover all your logistic issues. besides, my wife would like it that way, so that we can be assured we have someone to handle that aspect on our arrival. All your expences would be taken care of by our Sponsor.

An early reponce from you in this regards would be appreciated. Please acknowledge if you can offer this service and give me a price quote.

Remain Blessed

His Lorship

Bishop Ben Okafor
General Overseer
kingdom Life Ministries Int'l.
Porto-Novo
Republic of Benin
Tel:+299 88 75 72
kufwilis@yahoo.com

[Jott] Hello, just had lunch at an EPOP restaurant it was [inaudible] enjoyed lunch wit...

2007-04-10T15:04:00.000-07:00

Jott From Chef JoAnna

Hello, just had lunch at an Ethiopian restaurant it was lovely. I enjoyed lunch with Chris and he was very patient with my poor navigation skills in Los Angeles...although it was somewhat his error too, since he told me to turn the opposite way than what I'd intended! It has been a long time since I had a good wat.

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The company I'm going to work for was on TV

2007-04-10T09:57:00.000-07:00

This company approached me to be one of their chef-consultants. The Early Show gave them some nice publicity, and actually, it's a very well done piece. Culinary Hotline Helps Cooks In Crisis, Tracy Smith: "ChefsLine" At The Ready To Help Those In Need - CBS News"

Cookbook Prizes awarded shortly...

2007-04-09T16:34:00.000-07:00

I will post the results and the winners very very soon... it just requires sitting down with Kelly to do the judging... Which requires that bribes be baked! Thanks for your patience!

[Jott] This is a test from Jott to my Blog.

2007-04-09T16:14:00.000-07:00

HEY! Apparently it works! How very cool! Now I can podcast directly to my blog... as long as my podcasts are shorter than 30 seconds. (LOL)

Jott From Chef JoAnna

This is a test from Jott to my Blog.

Ask the chef: pre-soaking beans for crockpot cooking

2007-04-07T20:52:00.000-07:00

"Becky's Mom" writes:

I have a question you're probably going to think is crazy. I have some dried pinto beans that I forgot to put on to soak until a few minutes ago. I want to put them in my crock-pot over night. Will they be okay not soaking for 24 hrs. prior to cooking them?

Dear Becky's Mom,

Don't worry... even if you do it 'wrong', it's nothing a little Beano can't fix... :-) but I'll tell you how you can handle this predicament next time.

People argue back and forth over which method of handling beans before cooking gives the best results: boiling or overnight soaking. To me, the method that works best is the one you use... so if you don't have 12 hrs to soak 'em, boil 'em!

Overnight soak: Wash and sort beans; place in large sauce pan with 6 cups of water per pound of beans. Let stand overnight (10 hrs or longer)
Quick soak: Wash and sort beans, put in a large saucepan with 6 cups of water per lb of beans. Bring to a boil and keep boiling for 10 minutes. Remove from heat, cover, let stand at least 1 hour. (but don't let them cool, )
You don't want to use the soaking/boiling water to cook the beans (why would you ingest the liquid that contains all the stuff you just soaked out of the beans?!) but you can use it to water plants. The soak water will have a good deal of vitamins and minerals in it, and your plants won't fart.

By the way, what does sorting mean? Sorting means that you pick over the beans and take out the floaters, remove any pebbles & twigs & other debris that might find its way into dried beans. Crunching on a rock in the chili is not my idea of a good time.

How do I know if the beans are done? Many people don't cook their beans long enough. Depending on the age of the beans, you may find it takes 30 to 60 minutes longer than what the recipe calls for. The way to test for doneness is to pull out a bean and mash it with a fork. If any of the insides seem white and crumbly, rather than soft and moist, then the beans need to be cooked longer. Add some more liquid and replace the lid, then test again later. Undercooked beans are nasty, and may even be toxic!

Suddenly, I have a craving for crêpes with green tea ice cream and red bean paste (sweetened adzuki beans, comes in a can from the Asian market - YUM!).

Last thing I ate or drank: Breyer's raspberry popsicle.

Technorati Tags: Food and Drink in Los Angeles

three little letters. M T V

2007-04-04T22:42:00.000-07:00

In the middle of last week, I got a phonecall from one of the assistant producers of MTV's Next, a dating show where the main contestant gets the chance to date five other contestants...but when the main contestant gets bored on the date, he/she says "NEXT!" and another potential paramour comes out to take his place.

The setup for this particular show was that the main contestant, a girl, wanted a guy who could cook. So they set up some challenges for the guy to pass. She "nexted" several of the guys, and finally found one she could tolerate. That lucky guy progressed to the next challenge... which was me. (Bwa ha-ha-ha!)

They pitted him against me in an Iron Chef style battle, to see how he fared against a professional chef. Well, not too good, but as the girl contestant said, he looked cute trying. (lol, he was teh hotness, even in his little pink chef's outfit)

I didn't speak on camera, but my name was said a few times, and my dish was pretty good for only being given about 15 minutes to make it (thank the FSM for the grace of his quick-cooking fresh noodly goodness).

They paid me, but they also sent me home with all the food they used as set decoration and props. LOOK at all this STUFF! That's 50 lbs of flour and 80 lbs of sugar, 10 packages of fresh fettuccini, 15 lbs of dry pasta, 4 lbs of butter....and all those potatoes, onions, carrots, broccoli, vine tomatoes, watermelons, pineapples, limes, peppers, corn, grapes, grape tomatoes, lettuce and strawberries ...and more! My freezer is going to be full of everything freezable as is, and I'll cook & freeze as much as I can of the other stuff. Plus, I'm making cookies for the staff, and they're having a PA come by tomorrow to pick them up.

It was a blast to have been able to do it. I had so much fun, everyone was so nice, and it's kind of cool to add MTV to my portfolio!

Last thing I ate or drank: plain little salad of hothouse tomatoes and iceberg, with bleu cheese dressing.

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Happy Taco Day! Feliz Día del Taco!

2007-03-31T19:09:00.000-07:00

did you know that today was Dia del Taco?

Buen Provecho!

My Word with Douglas E. Welch: Foodie Q&A with Chef Joanna from BarCampLA-3

2007-03-31T15:31:00.000-07:00

Douglas Welch has been kind enough to send me a link to the MP3 recording of the session I presented at BARCAMP-LA last weekend.

Sorry I didn't repeat the questions, as any good presenter should, but I sat on the edge of the stage and spoke loudly enough that didn't even use a microphone. (yeah, if you know me personally, you'd have a comment to insert here, I'm sure. :-P)

Also, I didn't know that this was going to be made available to me later, I thought it was for his own personal listening... but I'm delighted to be able to share it with you!

...Anyway, Douglas is quite the charming fellow. He has four podcasts that he produces regularly, each worth checking out.

My Word with Douglas E. Welch: Foodie Q&A with Chef JoAnna from BarCampLA-3

Beware, April Fool's day is tomorrow, lest you forget and stir salt into your coffee!

Ethnic Paris Cookbook - a book review. PLUS contest prizes

2007-03-27T12:09:00.000-07:00

I recently received another book to review, and I'm happy to share the wealth with my blogs' readers, through a little contest.The woman who is doing the promotions for this cookbook has got to be one of the most savvy people in her industry. You can't spill your champagne without having it drip on something that's referring to The Ethnic Paris Cookbook Link goes to the SuperChef Blog, and Juliette's review, since hers is very thorough already (yeah, I know it's kinda cheating but I'm certain she won't mind the traffic)... but I'll add my comments here, too.

First of all, it's CUTE! As in "OMG ponies!!1!one!1!" cute. Totally belongs on a coffee table, not on a shelf in the kitchen. Maybe display it on your kitchen island in a decorative book stand. The graphics aren't glossy, food-porn photography, but you know what? YAY! Because you can plate and present and display and serve like you want to, without fretting over how much it doesn't look like the photo in the book.

Second, it's got lots of interesting text. Each section has a few pages of background and history about how this cuisine got into Paris anyway, with anecdotes about how the cuisines became intermingled.

This gives me the opportunity to tell you a little story, too. Once upon a time, when the ink was still wet on my diploma, I worked for a Japanese Import-Export company. The bosses (both Japanese of course) would surprise us on a rare special occasion by taking our little 3 person department (me, Jeff & Paola) to a restaurant. Of course there were grand sushi experiences, mostly focused on "let's see what things can get the American girls to eat." One of the places, however, was a French/Japanese fusion restaurant called Yoshi's Cafe. The Chef trained in France, so his cooking had a Japanese flair. I have always been a foodie...and I was quite excited to go there. It's one of those places that you want to go to, but at 21, you could never afford.

The bosses (Mr. Ouchi & Mr. Asaba: I'll never forget those two) spoke in Japanese to the chef and his staff, and then we we 'kids' ordered. Paola ordered a Vichisoisse as her first course; She whispered to me that it was kind of cold. She didn't know. Jeff ordered the Tuna Tartare...although I'm certain he only chose it because that was the most expensive thing on the menu. He was absolutely blown away that it was raw when it arrived. I can't remember what I chose, probably lamb or fish or duck or something that wasn't beef or chicken...but I do remember that I was thrilled with my choice, and devoured it while Jeff and Paola poked at theirs. I didn't know enough then to appreciate it as fully as I might now, but I've always "ordered well". It was my introduction to fusion cuisine, and luckily it was a very good one. I think most people are against 'fusion' because their first experience wasn't very good.

You'll totally want to curl up with a yummy drink and a pack of post-its. Read through the rich stories, and mark off all the things you want to make on the first go-around. It might be good to have the computer close by so you can shop for local places where you can find esoteric ingredients, like konbu, nuoc nam, or kaffir lime leaves, and for things you must mail-order, like Djansan and Argan Oil. Los Angeles readers, you can just ask me!

You can also find more about this book at the book's official website.

OK, now the contest:

Send me a list of food items (by e-mail, not in the comments!) where each letter of the alphabet is represented by one food item. One point for each letter. Entries must be received by 8:00pm PST on April 1st. Points will be tallied, and the winners will be notified that they've won!

Sounds easy, don't it? it would be, if I didn't kick it up a notch (giggle)

1. Is it food? It must be a solitary component of "food", that you can eat as-is, or cooked. That is to say, not a spice, like Vanilla; not a condiment, like Ketchup, not a 'dish' like Kung Pao Chicken, or a brand name like Zachary's Famous Barbecue Sauce... if there is such a thing.
2. Is it English? It must be in commonly understood in daily American English. It's gotta pass the Husband-of-a-Chef test* No cheating by using Haricots Verts or Phú Quoc. Couscous would be ok, so would Phyllo. Get it? If you aren't sure, there's no penalty (or bonus) if you add a backup word.
3. No specifications! Holstein cow, Waygu beef, Golden Carrots, Navel oranges... all will be disqualified.
BONUS POINTS!!! You will earn 6 bonus points if your list is based on a theme. You can choose the theme: all orange-colored foods, all pastry ingredients, all vegan foods, all root vegetables... whatever you like.

[* My husband will be roped in to help me judge. He's become foodie enough to know what couscous and phyllo is, but not so 'damaged' that he knows what haloumi or manioc is...so those wouldn't count.]

So there you go. On one hand, it's a bit more work than /F makes you do, but on the other, WAY less competition. If there's five valid entries, then all five entries get a book. Winners' lists and point totals will be posted on this blog.

Good luck!

People want to know: what do I need in my kitchen!?

2007-03-24T17:01:00.000-07:00

I just gave a mini-presentation at BarcampLA. a Q&A on cooking and culinary stuff. I found it surprising that most of the questions were about cooking implements!

what kind of knives are the best knives? if you cook a lot, spend money on good knives, like wustof or henckles... if you don't buy stainless steel ones from the asian markets, and consider them disposable.
which is better, cast iron or non-stick? If you're making crêpes or omelets, use nonstick, just keep it at a low temperature. I will always endorse cast iron!
what's the minimum set of cooking equipment that I should have?one 8" nonstick, one 12" stainless (or anodized) one 3qt saucepan, one 5 qt pasta/stock pot. nonstick is kind of a plus. and a silicone spatula and a flattened-tip slotted spoon. (I've gotta figure out what those are officially called!
Where do you buy the best veggies when you're not going to a farmer's marketgolden farms, or ethnic markets, like Jons or 99 Ranch.

if you ever have a chance to go to a barcamp, go for it. you learn a lot and you meet a lot of interesting people.

Last thing I ate or drank: wow... Can't remember the last time I ate an oreo - note to self, check teeth before talking to other people...

Technorati Tags: Food and Drink in Los Angeles

"I had 'A Chef's Kitchen' cater for me, and it was terrible!"

2007-03-23T20:44:00.000-07:00

I'm aware that there are several other women named JoAnna out there in the world, and that a good handful of them are also chefs... but wouldn't it be weird to discover that another chef named JoAnna was doing business in Los Angeles?

ARTICLE: A Chef's Kitchen sues 'copy-cat' business over use of name (The Virginian-Pilot - HamptonRoads.com/PilotOnline.com): "The plaintiffs are seeking an injunction against the use of the name and that the upstart business surrender to the court all infringing materials such as signs, business cards, letterhead, fliers, labels and logos. They also want the business to disconnect phone, fax and internet lines for 'A Chef's Kitchen,' and arrange for the lines to be forwarded to the Williamsburg business."

but yikes, look at all these domains:

http://www.a-chefs-kitchen.com/
http://www.a-chefs-kitchen.net/
http://www.a-chefs-kitchen.org/

http://www.achefskitchen.com/
http://www.achefskitchen.net/
http://www.achefskitchen.org/

http://www.chefskitchen.com/
http://www.chefskitchen.net/
http://www.chefskitchen.org/

Would you be surprised to realize that NONE of them belong to the either of the litigants! In fact

http://www.achefskitchen.biz/ the established company
http://www.achefskitchenonline.com/ the newer company

Ah, but the clincher, is that they're only an hour's drive from each other.
click for the google maps page.

How can someone start a business, and go through all the trouble of filing paperwork and creating letterhead, registering domains and forming corporations... and then later discover that, OOPS, someone else already has been using the same business name, for the same business model, in the same area!

On one hand, Chef Gonzales chould have just waited for their inevitable failure. Nobody who's that stupid about starting their business can be that smart about running it... but if there is a potential that the other company is going to tarnish his name and reputation in the process, (duh: see above) then yeah, litigation is the way to go.

And, uh, please don't sue ME. :-D

THIS is newsworthy?

2007-03-20T00:35:00.000-07:00

I'd have to admit, I'd be a little embarassed about writing a press release for this for MY company...

Chef Mario’s Inc.’s Darcy Brennan ServSafe Certified

... besides, I scored a 93.

Marie Antoinette had it right all along...

2007-03-18T21:32:00.000-07:00

click to embiggen

The Joy of Tech comic...this time, with a culinary bent!

"Pesach for the Rest of Us" - a book review

2007-03-15T16:34:00.000-07:00

I was raised Catholic. And further, I'm not Jewish. In fact, I consider myself a "devout atheist". So what business do I have reviewing a book called "Pesach for the Rest of Us" by Marge Piercy?

Well, it was sent to me with the hope that I might review it, and I can be very objective, at the very least!Pesach is a holiday filled with rituals where every action and thought has a purpose. Upon reading the book, it was surprising to me how many of these were about food... What you can & can't eat, how you should eat it, and what you should do with the food and wine during the ceremony. Each portion of the ritual has a distinct and specific reason why it's included in the ritual.

It's not mysterious as to why that would be... Everyone eats, everyone enjoys good food, and it's something that everyone can experience and relate to. (of course, one should never use the word 'everyone' but I'm making a point.)

If I were into rituals, if I found something moving about poems and singing and symbolic consumption of foodstuffs (and of course, if I were Jewish) Pesach would be THE event of the year. In fact, according to Piercy, many Jews who don't go to temple or practice their religion during the rest of the year find a reason to participate in a Pesach event.

I consider myself pretty well read; I am familiar with the belief systems of many religions. Christmas trees and Easter bunnies, the symbols of THE most Catholic of events, are actually pagan carryovers. The sexy fertility rituals of Lupercalia were replaced with the chaste love-notes of St. Valentine's day. In studying about Kashrus, for the benefit of my clients who keep kosher, I've become rather familiar with many of the Jewish rules about food and holidays.

OK, enough religion, let's talk about the food.

For Pesach, there's a ritualistic consumption of food and wine, each item having a symbolism: parsley, which is dipped in salt water, lettuce, horseradish, roasted eggs, oranges, and of course, matzoh. If you don't already know what the symbols represent, there's probably no need to go into it here. (get the book!) each section includes some history, poetry and the author's personal anecdotes. It was a very interesting read.

Yeah, I actually read the books I'm invited to review (gasp) which is why it takes a couple weeks for me to post these blog entries. Not to mention that this one, with a subject mattern of a specific Jewish holiday full of symbolism, I had to keep referring to wikipedia to figure out what stuff meant. It was enlightening, though it took the better part of an afternoon. I didn't work this hard on book reports in school! But I digress...

There are LOTS of recipes, for matzoh ball soup, matzoh brei, tzimmes, kugels ...and a few recipes for from-scratch gefilte fish, which the author swears even she wouldn't make again. I think that something that may be especially useful is that she includes several ways to 'use up' the extra leftover matzoh.
Cute flash cartoon. Try this link if the youtube wouldn't play.
Also included are several recipes for this curious fruit-and-nut compote called Charoset, which seems kind of like a coarsely-chopped trail mix, with apples sweet wine and cinnamon. Sometimes ginger, coconut, orange zest, whatever tastes good to you. You're not supposed to say you like Charoset It's intended to symbolize mortar... The ‘Israelites’ (were) fleeing an oppressive situation in Egypt. In Egypt they were slaves, building pyramids with mortar and bricks. Piercy doesn't explain the mortar analogy, (so I gotta say thanks Debra for the info included in the above italics) but acknowledges that it's more of a justification of getting something sweet on the seder plate, to contrast against the other bitter/bland stuff. Anyway, it does sound delicious.

I've been given several books to review, but I only post reviews about the ones for which I have positive things to say. There's enough negativity in the world already, I don't need to add to it. Reviewing this book made me think a lot about who I am and what I believe...and what I don't.

So that's the opinion of one person. I always want to be open-minded, but I still classify myself as an atheist, agnostic, humanist, freethinker, rationalist, naturalist, skeptic, hedonist and perhaps even a Bright... but the jury's still out over whether I'd join a group that would have me for a member. <rimshot!>

Can I still make Charoset, then? Rather, do I allow my self to make it, knowing it symbolically represents the opression of others? Will it still taste sweet, or (perhaps as intended) bittersweet, such as when tears fall into the batter for the wedding cake in Like Water for Chocolate?

As a hedonist, I'd rather make the Quail in Rose Sauce that stirs passion in everyone who eats it. Like I said, I don't need to add to the negativity.

That's pretty deep thinking for a food blog!

Last thing I ate or drank: a chicken cacciatore sandwich, followed by cup after cup of Lemon-Ginger Tea over the 3+ hours it took me to research and type up this review.

Technorati Tags: Food and Drink in Los Angeles