los angeles food/beverage/hospitality jobs classifieds - craigslist

Oh

MY

word.

Here's me trying to NOT be viciously catty and spew a bazillion curse words at the screen. A friend sent this CraigsList ad to me, saying sarcastically, "OOH! THE PERFECT JOB! (ROFLMAO)".

HIP WESTSIDE CAFE LOOKING FOR "CHEF"

_____ is looking for someone for a manager-type position to include creating new food ideas.

40-hour per week salaried position
looking for a creative "foody" personality
overseeing staff of 10-15 people
organization a must!

We're limited in space so we only have small appliances. If you think you can be creative with them, then this is the job for you!

A Degree in related field a plus!
Cafe experience a plus!

$30,000 annual gross salary
2 weeks paid vacation/sick time

So, okay. Let's approach this piece by piece, starting at the end and work our way back up, shall we?

This is a full-time job, no mention of benefits except for 10 days paid-time-off, and the employee would get paid only $14.42 an hour gross pay. That's before taxes come out. And heaven forbid the employee should need to go to a dentist or something.

Oh, and you want a degree! Do you know how much even just an associates degree costs? Phooey.

Now, i get that you're trying to convey that it's a limited space, but i think that what you MEAN is that you don't have an exhaust hood, so that means you only have a panini press, a microwave, maybe a soup warmer, and other little tabletop cooking apparatus. This isn't that big of a deal, but you need only a sandwich-maker for that. Soup/Sandwich/Salad menu. That does not require the talents of a trained, degreed professional.

So, for this lousy under-$15-per-hour job, the employee is also supposed to manage as many as 15 employees? If these are the same pool of people i have to recruit from, and I'm paying at least $15/hr, you're in Big Trouble.

Even if I could afford to live in Los Angeles on only $30k/yr for a FULL TIME JOB, (that's gross, not net, mind you!) I still don't see how this job could be appealing in the very least. Having to schedule and manage up to 15 potential flakes and still be responsible for developing and creating a new menu is not worth $15 an hour.

Come work for me instead. The worst that could happen is that you might have to clean the stove or take out trash after an event.