June 02, 2006

funny phonecall

me: pick up phone, look at caller ID, don't recognize the number. "Hello, this is Chef JoAnna"
caller: Hi, how are you?
me: Fine, thanks. (practicing the art of shutting up, resisting the urge to ask "Who are you?")
caller: great! well, I was just driving by and I saw your truck... it looks great, by the way!
me: Oh, thank you.
caller: Yeah, so, I just wanted to introduce myself, I'm soandso from suchandsuch, and we're a party staffing company.
me: yes?
caller: so maybe if you need to hire any servers or bartenders we can staff your events.
me: ok. would you like to send me a rate sheet or a portfolio....
caller: we charge what everyone else does, about $25 an hour. We're having our brochures printed up right now, but you can look at our website...
me: ok, what is it?
caller: www.way_overdone_website.com
me: (typing it in) oh, there's music (disgusted) ok, hang on, I have to turn it down
caller: ha ha, oh yeah, my son just asked me, "Mommy why did you turn the music down?"
me: (giving the phone a 'huh?' look, as if that does anything, but I can't help it) ok, here we go.
caller: blah blah blah, we do staffing, blah blah blah
me: do you have any culinary staff?
caller: yes, I think so, we do, yes.
me: and what is their rate
caller: oh, I don't know, probably still $25 an hour, I'd have to refer you to my business associate for that, he handles the billing.
me: ok (why are you making a call if you're unprepared to give me information?)
caller: blah blah blah, we do staffing, blah blah blah
me: yes, ok
caller: so do you hire people to staff your events?
me: usually I use my own staff, but I've used staffing companies in the past, like when a client doubled his headcount three days before the party...
caller: Yeah. Oh, wow! So, yeah! (or something equally erudite)
me: Do your kitchen staff bring their own tools?
caller: I think so, yeah. So now you could call us when you have that kind of thing happen.
me: sure
caller: and we can call you, when we have a party that needs a chef, right?
obviously, since my name is written in silver foil on my truck, I must certainly be a skilled chef, and a reputable person... but yet, so desperately in need of additional work that I'd agree to a relationship with a company who employs a less-than-knowlegeable staffing representative that is empowered to hire me, spontaneously, sight-unseen, as she's driving around town.
me: Uh... I don't usually work for other companies.
caller: Hello? it got really static-y all of the sudden. Hello?
me: Yes, I hear you...
caller: Hello? There must be something wrong with your phone, or maybe it's my phone, there's a lot of static. HELLO!?
me: I can hear you just fine.
caller: HELL-----OOOOOooooo?
me: click

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