How to be a good client.

I have lots of wonderful clients. People for whom I'll do extra favors and who always get first priority for my time. There are "Other" clients, however...
Here are some things that draw the line between a good client and "other" clients:

Good Clients: read the contract, ask questions about specific details, and willingly negotiate when necessary "Other" Clients: ask questions that would have been answered had they read the contract, but become insulted when I explain the answers	Good Clients: make deposits and meet deadlines on time "Other" Clients: hem and haw until the last minute, but still expect me to meet deadlines
Good Clients: treat me like a professional and allow me to use my experience to guide their event "Other" Clients: need to control every infinitesimal detail, but forget things that I should/would have taken care of	Good Clients: understand that I am trying to make a liviing, and I'm not out to scam them for every penny they've got "Other" Clients: are absolutely convinced that I'm out to scam them for every penny they've got
Good Clients: make menu requests, but allow me, as their chef, to suggest alternatives that suit their event, guests, kitchen, type of service desired, etc. "Other" Clients: specify the menu requirements down where I purchase the ingredients for the things I'm making, or (gasp) give me recipes	Good Clients: let me know if any of their guests have any special dietary requirements in advance "Other" Clients: become miffed when I can't instantly procure 4 (vegetarian/low carb/vegan/raw) alternative entrees
Good Clients: know that I'll base my estimates on past experience and my predictions, and will stick to them the best I can "Other" Clients: can't understand that I do not have a crystal ball, or even a magic 8 ball, and expect me to know what the price of wild salmon will be in 12 weeks	Good Clients: embrace the concept of "you get what you pay for" and, in fact, chose me for my high standards "Other" Clients: think they could do it much cheaper themselves, but hired me anyway
Good Clients: pay the final invoice when it's due, knowing that I've already paid for their entire party and paid my staff. "Other" Clients: hold out until I've emailed three times and called them twice, threatening to enforce late fees and interest, until they finally relent and pay me the $140 balance from their $1500 party.	Good Clients: are reassured that I value my reputation far more than their money, and will do whatever it takes to make them happy "Other" Clients: must think that this is the last job I plan to cater before I leave town, driving away with the top down on my lamborghini, clutching fistfuls of cash, laughing maniacally and screaming, "HA!! I FOOLED THEM!"

Last thing I ate or drank: fish sandwich

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